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March 15, 2004 | by  | in News |
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Opportune Places to Jump Out and Scare People

Most people favour the universally recognised places like bushes, the space behind the door, closets and generally dark areas as the preferred locations to jump out and scare an unwilling passer by. It seems the whole tradition of the scare has fallen to the wayside, simply swept under the rug and ignored only to rear its amusing and frightful head on occasions like Halloween and the odd April Fool’s Day. I say, Down with this unspoken structure that has been dealt to the good old unpredictable scare. Some may say that in our University dedicated to the pursuit of higher learning, there is no place for the institution of the scare. I say the entire school of scaring promotes creativity: one can, in fitting with the ideals of academia, design and handcraft a scare to have maximum effects on the scaree. It promotes individuality and by gum it’s time for the alarming jolt to be re-introduced, to our University community. After all our Uni is a potential adventure playground for the more daring types among us. There are oodles of obstacles and hiding places just waiting for your stealth.

Some opportune places to jump out and scare people around Uni:

The extremely large pillars in the Student Union Building are great for it. Large enough to conceal a wide range of people.

The split level of the Quad allows for a complex, descend-from-above scare.

Anywhere in the science block (the Octagon) you will find ample opportunities. The jolt of the scare tends to be outside all their calculations and impromptu social interaction tends to throw them at the best of times, (lack of time to prepare rebuttal)

Behind the podium at the front of the lecture theatre. If you’re lucky you might be able to scare your entire class, but at the very least will be able to scare the bejezus out of your lecturer.

The lower levels of the Library have dungeon-like-qualities and are already quite disturbing so there’s potential for that crap-your-pants reaction.

Places like the Library where people are preoccupied; looking at books, picking their noses, checking silent text messages are ideal, even the most unstealthy person can creep up on the preoccupied.

I hear some of the Fairlie Terrace tutorial houses have cupboards under the stairs. Mysterious.

And of course the classic waiting in front of the elevator for it open on unsuspecting Library goers.

Prepare yourself for the onslaught of spontaneous scarers. To outline a few examples of potential scarers:

The more sophisticated scarer

(the costume wearer)

The planner:

Will usually prey on your weaknesses, and plan scares around your schedule

The lurker:

Will be found in the bushes, or dark areas at night and will often have more in mind than just a scare

The accidental:

Has extremely good stealth but is unfortunately unaware of this quality and will steal up behind you and always be surprised at your excessive reaction.

So leave the squeaky shoes at home.

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