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March 8, 2004 | by  | in Features |
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The Oscars™ Drinking Game

(© Salient 2003).

Like you need an excuse – the Salient Oscars™ Drinking Game 2nd Ed. (2004) for your viewing pleasure. Let’s see this at Eastside!

Drink when:

* Each player is assigned a random nominee in each category. Drink when your nominee wins.

* Someone thanks God.

* LOTR doesn’t win a category it’s nominated in.

* Someone thanks a Weinstein or Miramax.

* Someone forgets to thank their partner.

* Somebody gets forced off by the orchestra starting to play.

* LOTR wins anything.

* Billy Crystal makes a Jewish joke.

* Anyone refers to Jack Nicholson in the front row.

* You see a close-up shot of the Jackster in the front row.

* You hear a Kiwi accent.

* Someone tries to walk off the stage the wrong way.

* Someone uses a made-up word.

* Someone starts a speech by saying ‘Wow’, ‘Oh wow’ or ‘Whoa’.

* There is a standing ovation (requires players to stand and drink).

* You see someone you want to have sex with (at the Oscars™ – although it could be interesting if it’s just someone at the bar, or one of your flatmates. Careful, kids.)

* Any of Brannavan’s predictions are correct. (Skull if he’s correct about someone who wasn’t even nominated.)

* Think of people who’ve died in the last year. Drink if they make it to the honorarium.

* Anyone cries.

Skull when:

* Peter Jackson doesn’t win Best Director.

* The winner for lead actor or actress doesn’t get forced off by the orchestra starting to play.

* Anything other than LOTR wins Best Picture.

* Anyone mentions Bush and the Supreme Court

Don’t Drink when:

* Keisha Castle-Hughes wins. Have some respect; she’s under-age. Perhaps a Virgin Mary, or some sparkling grape juice would be in order.

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