Viewport width =
March 20, 2006 | by  | in Film |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Date Movie

I’ve done some stupid things in my life time.

I’ve dive rolled out of a taxi, drunk out of my head. I’ve fallen down the stairs at Indigo, solely because I was ordering four beers at a time off the hot bartender. I’ve temporarily belived that white chocolate comes from Jersey cows. I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for about 4 years. Let’s see… I’ve run down a Melbourne street cutting up bushes with a number sign I’d taken from a petrol station while my friend ran down the road in a bra he’d picked up off the side of the road. I’ve blown out with girls. I’ve missed the easiest of crossword puzzles. I’ve run down beaches in Hawkes Bay naked past families at dinner time. I continually think that McDonalds is a good hangover cure. Hell this one time right, my room smelt really awful and I thought it was a sandwich that was in my bin, and I removed it, but it turns out (after so much confusion) that the smell was actually coming from off-milk residue in the bottom of one of those Nature’s Energy milkshake containers. Oh, I also put Morning Fresh in the dishwasher once. You should see the effect that one had on the kitchen. BUBBLES EVERYWHERE! Holy moly.

I went letter boxing frequently in my early sixth form. I got caught stealing a twenty dollar note off my Mum when I was ten to buy basketball cards. I used to listen to System of a Down and I almost bought Eminem on CD when I was 15.

But nothing really compares with the decision to go and watch this movie. I was vunerable, I’d been to the dentist and all, but I just don’t know why I went. I didn’t even really find Scary Movie funny. Shit. I’m out. At least I didn’t pay. This film made me physically sick to my stomach and is probably akin to watching home movies of Robin Williams masturbating. Yeah, avoid, OK? This film is the sort of film that makes people sick about Hollywood and proves them right at the same time.

It’s just not worth it. Not even stoned (I wasn’t). And I repeat that to all those mild mannered stoners. Not funny. Not even stoned.

Directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Hoyts, Reading Cinemas

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

James Robinson is a university dropout turned journalist who likes to pretend he has an honours degree. Turn ons include soup, scarfs, a hot bath and some FM-smooth Kenny G-esque instrumental jazz. Turn offs include student politicians, the homeless, and people who pronounce it supposebly.

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Sliding into VUWSA President Marlon Drake’s DM’s
  2. There’s a New Editor
  3. An (im)possible dream: Living Wage for Vic Books
  4. Salient and VUW tussle over Official Information Act requests
  5. One Ocean
  6. Orphanage voluntourism a harmful exercise
  7. Interview with Grayson Gilmour
  8. Political Round Up
  9. A Town Like Alice — Nevil Shute
  10. Presidential Address

Editor's Pick

In Which a Boy Leaves

: - SPONSORED - I’ve always been a fairly lucky kid. I essentially lucked out at birth, being born white, male, heterosexual, to a well off family. My life was never going to be particularly hard. And so my tale begins, with another stroke of sheer luck. After my girlfriend sugge