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March 20, 2006 | by  | in Opinion |
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Good names for a porn movie

1. Hirsute Whores
2. Fists of Fury
3. Brokeback Mountain
4. Bubba Blows the Jews
5. The Never-Ending Orgy

Great words

1. Jalaproctosis
2. Sesquipidalian
3. Sasquatch
4. Cunnilingus
5. Cellar-door

Worst places to propose

1. McDonalds’ drive-thru
2. Bathroom
3. During labour
4. During “Visiting hour”
5. As part of a suicide pact

Things Ten Tonne Samoan should realise about Salient

1. We are juvenile
2. We are proud of it
3. If you want to read something thought-provoking, read the Dom. It has articles on dogs.
4. We all need to shit – including Top 5 writers
5. People only read top 5 because it’s juvenile

The point of the Commonwealth Games

1. Celebrate imperialism
2. The Queen can see all her subjects at once
3. To ingrain the Australian national anthem in our consciousness
4. To give those Equatorial Guinean swimmers something to do in their downtime between Olympics
5. It’s too hard to win at the Olympics

Reasons why what Judas did wasn’t actually so bad

1. Thirty pieces of silver was worth a lot in those times.
2. Jesus was asking for it anyway
3. He gets to hang with Satan
4. He’s subsequently more famous than Bartholemew
5. There’s no free will

Top 5 exec members with douche

in their names
1. Maddy Douche
2. Miri Douchefield
3. Joel Douchegrove
4. Melissa Douche-ard
5. Caroline Prenderdouche

Best euphemisms for mental institutions

1. Cracker barn
2. Funny farm
3. Box of Crackers
4. Whitby
5. The Giggly Box

Recipe to Cook a Curry

1. Walk down the road
2. Take a seat
3. Read a menu
4. Call over the waiter
5. Order

Things that will never come back into fashion

1. Zoot suits
2. Handlebar mustaches
3. Bubonic plague sores
4. Female circumcision
5. 3-D glasses

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About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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