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May 27, 2006 | by  | in Film |
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Underworld: Evolution

Awesome action? Spark? Good dialogue? Well, you won’t find it in this movie. Underworld: Evolution follows Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and Michael (Scott Speedman) through the fight of their lives against, well… EVERYBODY, and I don’t just mean the audience.

With high hopes I entered the cinema. It was empty, which was shocking since Underworld: Evolution had just been out one day, but then again it was Hoyts. When I watched it, I realised there was nothing in the movie to entertain the audience. Underworld: Evolution is a typical sequel, much like Matrix: Reloaded. It has everything that a movie should not have. It is unoriginal, boring, and contains unnecessarily repeated scenes from not only this movie, but scenes from the first Underworld as well. Moreover, you feel nothing for the characters, and even if they all died melted together in a clump of lard it just wouldn’t matter. The new characters are just pathetic. It seems that Len Wiseman tried to include minorities in his movie and did a bad job of making The ‘Great Vampire/ Hydrant’ look Asian. The make-up sucks. The Lycans look over-bulky in the way that’s illegal for body builders – and what’s more they made me crave meatloaf.

I love vampire flicks, no matter how corny they can be, and even if they’re made by John Carpenter. The fact is Carpenter’s vampire films are freshened up with good humour, and Wiseman’s Evolution is funny for all the wrong reasons.

Underworld: Evolution doesn’t have the somewhat delicious taste of the original; it is a bland combination of typical fight scenes and basically no storyline. However, for all you die-hard fans, the end dialogue by Selene seemed to promise another Underworld. Watch at own risk.

Directed by Len Wiseman
Hoyts, Reading Cinemas

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