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July 17, 2006 | by  | in Online Only |
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Monday

Each week here the game is reset. Each Monday when you walk in to the office it’s a new challenge. It’s nice to forget how stressed you were last Thursday and not think about how stressed you will be. It’s nice to have a cup of coffee and talk shit about your weekend with your workmates. We all got drunk on Friday, Jon went to the New Zealand blues awards (but the speeches and the wine apparently sucked), Ben and Nicola had big nights and my Friday night wasn’t small. This morning is also made a little sweeter by the fact that this weeks Salient isn’t an unrepentant flop, but a glorious hit (in my eyes).

It’s a little different, a little wackier – but everyone pulled out their A-game last week and I’m pretty stoked. A wiser man than I once said – “there’s no such thing as a perfect issue”, and he’s probably right – but this bad boy I feel may be as close as you can get. So a big thank you to everyone who had a hand in it. I want to buy you all skittles and frolic through a field of golden corn hand in hand while Pee Wee Herman serenades us with a chocolate microphone singing the songs of Engelbert Humperdinck.

But the new week comes and a new issue is demanded. This week’s issue is the annual Maori issue. And it’s the issue that each year is usually met with a groan and an aggressive cry of “what the fuck are we supposed to read in lectures asshole?” But it should be a good one, there is going to be some regular stuff in there, ‘My Eyes Are Bleeding’, ‘Academic Idol’, maybe even a Bran-Power if Bran will pull finger. (Incidentally Bran is a legend who organized the supplement and pulled out a feature for this last issue so he’s within his rights to tell me to get fucked.)

Ben’s laying out the cover to my left and Jon’s doing the mailout. The cover is looking good. I just listened to this rad album Schmotime by this cool band Absentee and it was rad. Thank you the publicity department at Shock records! And while some of you may groan at the upcoming Te Reo issue, we’ve got some cool shit in the pipeline. Artricles on creationism, commerce school ethics, a history of the letters pages, Dimmer, Taika Cohen, Mia Blake, Dylan Horrocks, Russell Norman, and Winston Peters will soon be gracing the pages of Salient. Rad… no?

So how was your weekend? Film festival starts Friday. Excited? I’ve got tickets for Inconvenient Truth, Thank You For Smoking and Factotum. Yee-ah.

Ben Elton played in the weekend and was excellent. A machine, the man entertained me thoroughly for two and a half hours. He caned the royal family and then gave one of the best reasons why they should stay. His analysis of how people are so sold by bullshit was brilliant. Underneath the laughs he had such an undercurrent of pure insight I was astounded. Elton’s point was this: modern life is about things being bigger. Cars, chocolate bars, TVs etc. But as things get bigger, and things that don’t matter at the same time. The important things get smaller, like natural resources such as polar ice caps. As Newton prophisised, each action has an equal reaction. At the same time humans get duped by so much bullshit and fake choice into thinking they are free and independent individuals. But sadly we’re not. It’s all crap.

Fuck. Before I forget, did anyone see Saturday’s Dom and Sunday’s Star Times? Dom led the weekend out with a story about (excuse while I laugh a little too hard) pre-school smoking addictions. Angling a little too hard at the anti-smoking thing instead of the whole “where were the fucking parents?” angle. Another really startlingly bad piece of ‘scary’ journalism. Sunday’s front page managed to offend gay’s and immigrants. Questioning Labour’s obsession with gay rights (through a link to a Rosemary McLeod column. Why the hell was the necessary?) and immigrants getting hospital treatment, and generally being murderous. These front pages reflect us as a country pretty badly I feel.

I know you’re not supposed to enjoy the Truth, but it’s expose on UFO’s was awesome. Unlike the Dom and the Star Times, at least it knew it was bullshit.

Enjoy your Monday.

Song: ‘Time to Build’ by the Beastie Boys
Mood: New car fresh. It’s Monday!
What’s killing me?: The ever worsening Israel-Palestine situation. As bad as it is, Middle Eastern conflict has been a wallpaper to my whole life. It’s always there, and I find it a little harder to get as riled about it. I feel strangely desensitized to it all.

I’m curious also as to how things will develop with the situations in Iran and North Korea. The current US administration may soon learn that fighting the wrong war may have disastrous consequences if they are too stretched to give Iran and North Korea the attention they could have if Iraq wasn’t such a disaster.

Read this. It’s fularious. (hip new slang that incorporates fucking and hilarious)

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About the Author ()

James Robinson is a university dropout turned journalist who likes to pretend he has an honours degree. Turn ons include soup, scarfs, a hot bath and some FM-smooth Kenny G-esque instrumental jazz. Turn offs include student politicians, the homeless, and people who pronounce it supposebly.

Comments (1)

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  1. MD aka McQ says:

    I would love to say that I got legless at the NZ Blues awards but that would be highly inappropriate considering that the guest speaker was none other than Mark Inglis. Well done to all the recipients of NZ Blues!

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