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July 31, 2006 | by  | in Opinion |
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Petrol Prices

Sometimes I feel sorry for the person on the other end of the line. So sorry to poor C—-, who had to deal with this. But nevertheless, Bran-Power will continue being a bastard.

C: Welcome to BP, you’re speaking with C—–.

B: Hi, I’m just calling up to see why petrol prices went up last week.

C: Right, ok…um… Well I’m not really sure myself. Let’s have a look, [long pause] the main reason I have been given by the pricing team is that the crude and refined prices have
increased due to conflict in the Middle East.

B: I’m just calling because I was born in Lebanon and I kind of don’t want to be associated with this price rise. Also my name’s Hussein, but my friends call me Saddam, so it seems like I’m always getting blamed for the petrol price increases.

C: Um… Yeah… I’m really sorry for that… Umm… That’s not very nice of your friends.

B: Yeah.

C: I mean… Yeah… I can pass that on?

B: My girlfriend got sick of this as well, so she changed her name to Katrina. That backfired too.

C: Yeah sure. I think the main thing is…there is conflict in the Middle East, um… And that’s not something you should be blamed for personally, and in fact, probably, we’re not blaming anyone in the Middle East for this. I mean if you, if you, look at what’s happening there then… Well you make your own decision about who’s to blame really…

B: Do you think you could blame Mongolians or Venezuelans or someone else for once?

C: Sure, um… Well if there was conflict then maybe, um, we would blame them (nervous laughter). I don’t think that it’s really about blame, it’s just giving a reason, I mean the crude prices a barrel have risen and that’s the reason that has been given so, I’m really sorry about that.

B: That’s all right. Thanks for your time.

C: Cool, thank you.

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About the Author ()

Brannavan Gnanalingam has come a long way from being born in the teeming metropolis of Colombo, Sri Lanka. He may be known as feature writer for Salient, but is also the only man in history to have simultaneously donated both his kidneys. He is also an amateur rapper going under the moniker Brantank and hopes to win a Grammy.

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