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July 31, 2006 | by  | in News |
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University Stock Market

VUWSA Education Vice-President Joel Cosgrove drops three points this week for an almost pitiable attempt to be offensive by shaving “fuck you” into his beard. Several market indexes initially found it difficult to see what was inscribed, and were not impressed once they realised.

Chancellor Tim Beaglehole and Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh jumped up six points for choosing to participate in a forum on fee setting. However, a recent business confidence survey is pessimistic that the forum will actually make a difference to the University Council’s eventual decision.

Caretakers at the Law School drop, after some shareholders reported problems with the sewerage pipes causing a rather unpleasant smell in some areas of the building.

Head of the International Institute of Modern Letters Bill Manhire rises 24.95 points, after his book Lifted won the Montana Book Award for poetry.

Finally, and we don’t really like to blow our own trumpet, but the University’s student magazine Salient rose three and a half points last week, after receiving a certificate from race relations commissioner Joris de Bres for Te Ao Marama’s contribution towards Maori Language Week. Positive coverage of Academic Idol is last Wednesday’s Dominion Post is also believed to have contributed to the rise. Market confidence is expectant to increase even further with Sub-Editor in Chief Marianna Kennedy rising up the academic ranks, achieving distinction in her Masters thesis.

Ka pai, Marianna..

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About the Author ()

Nicola Kean: feature writer, philanthropist, womanly woman. Nicola is the smallest member of the Salient team, but eats really large pieces of lasagne. Favourites include 80s music, the scent of fresh pine needles and long walks on the beach.

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  1. peteremcc says:

    Brilliant, thanks :)

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