Viewport width =
March 12, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Ask Becci

So, you’re back at uni after your awesome holidays, and reality is quickly sinking in – in fact, everything is pretty much turning to crap.

All your hard-earned summer savings have already been fluttered away, and you can’t afford to eat this week because you spent your entire (measly) student allowance on booze. You’re probably missing your parents – or, more likely, the cushy summer you spent staying with your parents – not that you’re ever going to admit that to anyone -you don’t want your new flatties thinking that you’re a pussy on top of everything else. Whether you’re a fresh-faced first year, or in the final year of your PhD, it’s doubtless that you’re still struggling to fit your social life around all those endless lectures, and labs, and tutorials, and readings, and essays, and… zzzzzzzzzzz.

Which reminds me – when was the last time you had a decent night’s sleep? And no, kipping on your brother’s mate’s cousin’s girlfriend’s floor doesn’t count. You can’t even moan to your best mate about anything, because you’ve just found out that they’ve been sleeping with your partner behind your back. Of course, all your other friends have known about it for weeks, and have been secretly mocking you and gossiping about you – oh, and now your ex and your ex-best friend are getting married and having a baby.

Distraught, you decide to hit the clubs, resulting in you getting totally trollied, and screwing the first person you ran into – who you’ve just discovered is, in fact, your tutor. All in all it’s been a pretty hectic couple of weeks. Ok, so it might not be THAT bad. But all those people that say students only have to worry about where their next drink is coming from – and the poor, deluded fools who told you when you first enrolled at uni that it was going to be breezy – well, they lied! Life can suck!

So, if your life is turning to a steaming pile of crap before your eyes – if you’ve contemplated writing into one of those cheesy women’s magazine help pages for even a second before you talked yourself out of it – help is now at hand!

If you have a niggling problem that you’re too embarrassed to talk to your friends about – or if you don’t have any friends to talk to – e-mail and get advice on your issues from within the pages of your very own student magazine.

Oh, and you don’t have to worry about everyone on campus finding out that you’re the one who can’t stop fantasising about their tutor naked, because all letters will remain anonymous.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Pizza Base Recipe
  2. VUWSA to Sell Van
  3. Hunter Lounge Raking in Business as Reality Sets In
  4. Rule and Exception
  5. The Party Line
  6. Volume 81 Issue 03: Stale-ient
  7. Are We Live
  8. 15 Things I’d Rather Do Than “Discuss With the Person Next to Me” in a Lecture
  9. Superorganism Self-Titled
  10. Trump’s America

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: - SPONSORED - Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak Englis