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March 5, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
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Yo! This is the first queer column of the year! So naturally, I’m going to give you a quick rundown on coming out. Two words: Do it. First years, you are at the best possible place to come out. You know no one, no one knows you, and you’re about to meet 20,000 new people. Make the most of it. Everyone else, just because you’re a bit more established, doesn’t mean it’s too late for you to come out. There’s only three times it’s too late to come out; when the person you are secretly in love with gets civilly unioned, when you’re on your deathbed, and when your best friend says “I know. I’ve known for twenty years, you camp fool.”

Don’t worry about running into someone you know or didn’t expect to see whilst at a queer event or place. Just look ‘em in the eye, and say “Hey, how are ya?” casual as all hell. You both know why you’re there, and if they aren’t too, then they’re obviously queer friendly. I mean, what are they going to be all like “Yes, but I’m only in here to ask for directions on how to get away from here?” No. They’re not. If they weren’t fine with queer people, then they wouldn’t be there.

Words of advice! Boys, if you’ve just come out and you’re dying to get ‘out there’ after a lifetime of repression, then I strongly recommend that you not go out and fuck the first guy who looks at you just because you can. You’ll regret not doing it with someone you were at least attracted to. Girls, the same goes for you. Just because you’ve come out, doesn’t mean you can disregard self-respect. You don’t have to lower your standards just because there are less fish in the sea. There’s still heaps of fish in the sea! We’re just a slightly rarer species. Be patient, I’m sure there’ll be one flopping about on your deck soon enough.

If you are totally, completely unsure where to get your big queer adventure started, then come to a UniQ meeting. It’s Victoria’s big queer group for the heterosexually challenged, the confused, and their friends to meet up for support and/or good times. You can join their mailing list by emailing Their website,, has been completely revamped, and will be up and running within the week. If you need someone to talk to, Rachael Wright is your Queer Officer at VUWSA. Don’t be scared, she’s easy to talk to. Her email address is

For venturing outside the uni safety net, there is Our Bar on Cuba Street, which has a nice ‘let’s sit down and have a friendly drink’ feel about it, and iMerst on Dixon Street/Courtenay Place, which is more a place that, on Saturdays, doesn’t come alive until after midnight, if you catch my drift. There are lots of regular queer events as well, but they are too numerous to list here. Just do your own research. Try

Well, that’s all the compulsory information over with. Next week: GAYDAR, BI-DAR, and A-DAR! How to tell what gender(s) that cute person across the room likes (if any), and save yourself from embarrassment!

Queer Events:

Dance Syndrome (Dance Party). Thursday 8 March. MVP. $5
Gay & Lesbian Fair. Saturday 10 March. Newtown Primary School. Van leaving from Hunter carpark at 9:30am
Gay & Lesbian Fair after-party. Saturday 10 March. iMerst. 9pm til late. $10

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