Viewport width =
March 12, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Salient Blind Dating

Having set up (probably) hundreds of happy couples over the past year, the uber-popular Salient Blind Dating returns soon for another hit season.

How it works: a couple, completely foreign to each other, have the chance to find true love over a free meal, courtesy of The Establishment (to the value of $200). To participate in Salient blind dating, e-mail your answers to the following questions to editor@salient.org.nz.

  1. What do you like/dislike about a man or woman
  2. ?

  3. What turns you on?
  4. How would you describe yourself?

In the spirit of blind dating, SJ turned to some dating agencies to find love…

FIND SOMEONE: “Thanks for calling Find Someone customer support. Calls cost $1.99 per minute. Please make sure you are the person paying for the call…”
Ring …ring…
(Cost $.60)

FS: Good afternoon, Find Someone.

SHOCK JOCK: What should I say to someone on a date?

FS: I beg your pardon?

SJ: I’m just wondering what topics to talk about on my date?

FS: Oh okay. I’m not sure. What sorts of things are you interested in?

SJ: I like writing for magazines.

FS: You could talk about some things that you’ve done there. I mean it’s always good to ask people about what they are into as well. I’m not entirely sure.

SJ: Do you know what makes a good relationship?

FS: No, I don’t know if anyone knows that.

FS: I mean that depends on the people doesn’t it?

SJ: Do you have any bargains?

FS: Bargains? What do you mean?

SJ: Can money buy me love?

FS: I think that depends on the girl.

SJ: Do you know where she lives?

FS: No ha ha…

(Total cost = $4.10)

COUNTRY & CITY CONTACTS

CC: Good afternoon, Country and City Contacts.

SJ: Can I make a date?

CC: We can send you an information pack. All our introductions are done through the post. The cost to join is $195 dollars.

SJ: Do you have any bargains?

CC: No, but you’re probably best to try the net. Okay?

SJ: The net?

…beep, beep, beep…

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments (2)

Trackback URL / Comments RSS Feed

  1. PK says:

    Was this written by an 8 year old?

  2. Jono Newton says:

    I predict 7

Recent posts

  1. Turkish Red Lentil Soup
  2. Dragon Friends
  3. NZ Music Month
  4. Dear White People
  5. You’re Allowed to Watch Shit Films
  6. Flint Town: Season 1
  7. Sometimes It’s Too Cold to Go Outside
  8. Some Spicy AF Hot Takes
  9. Postgrad Informer
  10. Love Isn’t Real, Because You Aren’t Hard Enough
Website-Cover-Photo7

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided