My best friend went away for the holidays, and while she was gone I got very drunk and ended up sleeping with her boyfriend. I didn’t mean for it to happen – it was a total mistake and I feel terrible. I can hardly sleep, and blush bright red whenever I’m around my best friend and her boyfriend. He hasn’t told her, and he’s pleading with me not to tell her – he even said that if I do, he’ll make it seem like it was all my idea. Please, help! I want to tell my best friend what happened… but I don’t want to lose her friendship.
If it’s got to the point where you’re feeling so guilty that you’re having trouble sleeping and can no longer be around your best friend, you need to ‘fess up! Sleeping with your best friend’s partner is one of the biggest forms of betrayal a person can commit, and by not telling her the truth about what happened – you’re continuing to betray her. Her boyfriend is obviously worried that your confession will end his relationship with her. However, if your mate really is a true best friend, she won’t for a second believe his claims that it was all your fault – and let’s not forget the age old saying – it takes two to tango. He could have said no. That’s not to say that your friend isn’t going to be pissed at you – she probably will be, and, let’s face it, she has every right.
But she’s going to find out the truth sooner or later, and it’ll be a whole lot better coming from you, now. Remember – the longer you leave it, the angrier and more upset she’s going to be when you do finally come clean. Or when she finds out some other way.
I think I have an STI. What do I do? I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone.
Like it or not, you have to go and see a doctor as soon as possible. It’s also important that you tell your partner and/or any recent sexual partners, as you could have passed any infection onto him/her – and some STIs can cause serious health problems if left untreated.
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It’s also important to remember to practice safe sex – condoms prevent the transmission of sexual infections and are available free from Student Health Services on campus, along with pamphlets on safe sex and the dangers of unprotected sex and STIs.
Have a problem? Need advice? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org