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April 30, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
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Pecking Order

Percentage of Kiwis who support Sue Bradford’s Anti-smacking Bill : 27

Ranking of New Zealand among all countries entering the word “smacking” into Google this month : 1

Approximate percentage by which this exceeds the second highest country entering “smacking” into Google, the United Kingdom : 50

Excessive amount of testosterone a New Zealand baby boy undergoing penis-enlargement treatment was accidentally given by his nurse : 10x

Days after getting this treatment that the boy become angry, developed pubic hair and had painful erections : 1

Average quality-of-life rating researchers assign US children with cancer, on a scale of 1 to 100 : 69

Average quality-of-life rating assigned obese children : 67

Percentage increase in sales of burgers, fish and chips, pies, ice cream, pizza and ethnic foods to Kiwis since 2002 : 88

Grams by which the amount of fat in McDonald’s fattiest salad exceeds that in its fattiest burger : 3

Percentage of New Zealanders classed as obese by the World Health Food Organization : 68

Amount of money the Wellington City Council has spent on catering in the last two years : $123,000

Amount this represents per councilor weekly, if they were the only ones present at meetings : $85

Amount of missing lunch money for which a Kansas City teacher strip-searched 23 third-graders in March : $8

Proposed penalties in fines and months possible spent in prison for streakers, strippers and pitch invaders during the 2011 Rugby World Cup (respectively) : $5000, 3

Percentage loss that streaker Lisa Lewis would have incurred selling her bikini if these laws were in effect now : 125

Amount given to Waikato student Dave Snell from the government to allow him to carry out a study entitled, “The Everyday Life of Bogans: Identity and Community Among Heavy Metal Fans” : $96,000

Rank of Oasis singer Liam Gallagher among public figures most reviled by Britons : 3

Percentage of Kiwis who think that that climate change is hype and is not happening : 21

Percentage increase since 1970 in the amount of the earth’s land stricken by severe drought : 100

Number of hours VUWSA’s former Acting Women’s Rights Officer spent on psychic and tarot hotlines before being fired : 14

Chance that the psychic hotline predicted a blow for feminism in the coming weeks : 0

Minimum number of dates since 1914 that the Jehovah’s Witnesses have predicted as the start of the apocalypse : 7

Rank of “office too hot” among white-collar employees’ most common workplace complaints : 2

Rank of “office too cold” : 1

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SOURCES: 1 Colmar Brunton 2, 3, 12, 15, 20 Salient Research 4, 5 Harpers Magazine 6, 7 Dr. Jeffrey B. Schwimmer, University of California, San Diego 8, 14 9 McDonald’s (Oak Brook, Ill.) 10 World Health Organisation 11 Dominion Post 13 National Security Archive (Washington) 16 NZ Herald 17 Madame Tussaud’s (London) 18 poll 19 UBS/NYC/Harpers Magazine 21 Salient’s resident misogynist 22 Center for Religious Tolerance (Ontario, Canada) 23, 24 International Facility Management Association (Houston)

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Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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