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May 28, 2007 | by  | in Uncategorised |
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Cooking with Aunt Daisy

Good Moaning, Everybody!

Chocolate – I love the feel of it in my mouth.


Even the very mention of the word makes this redoubtable old lady quiver in anticipation. The following biscuits are the perfect thing for grandchildren. But if you happen to be alone on a rainy afternoon, don’t let that stop you.

300g self raising flour
250g soft butter
30g cocoa powder
125g sugar

Cream butter and sugar until pale and soft, then sift in the flour and cocoa and mix carefully. It may seem a trifle dry, but with some effort will soon spring to life and form dark, chocolaty dough. Roll into small balls and place on a baking paper lined tray, and flatten with a fork.

Bake at 170°C for 5 minutes, and then turn it down to 150°C and bake for a further 10-15 minutes. While this happens you will have some time on your hands. And what’s better to do with time on your hands, than to tie someone’s hands… or indeed, have someone tie yours?

Yes, that’s right lovelies, I’m talking about bondage! I’m willing to wager you didn’t pick this sweet old lady as being ready for games of domination and submission, but let me tell you, it is quite the perverse pleasure for many!

Solitary bondage can be satisfying, but I say a pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled! So, if you invite someone around on a rainy afternoon to partake, it’s important to keep some guidelines in mind.

Typically in bondage (and wider BDSM practices) there is one dominant and one submissive party, though some people are flexible between these roles. The key things to remember are to have open communication and to make sure that both of you are okay with whatever’s happening. It’s wise to establish a ‘safe word’ system which you will both understand, such as ‘green’ to mean ‘that’s fine, don’t stop’, ‘orange’ meaning “don’t stop, but don’t do anything harder’ and ‘red’ to mean ‘stop everything now’.

It may seem less scary for beginners to use softer restraints like stockings and silk scarves, but I advise you all that these can pinch(which can damage your sensitive wee nerves) and they also tend to pull tighter than ropes and chains! Tying somebody up spread-eagledcan also become very uncomfortable for them very quickly: tie the submissive in a position where their arms are tied to their waist or out to their side. If you are using handcuffs, look for a pair with a ’double lock’ which means they can not get tighter accidentally, an important consideration for when things get a bit passionate! Handcuff grazes can be very hard to explain to the grandchildren – poor wee sprogs.

It’s important, as in all sexual situations, to keep the communication going! Make sure, if you are the dom, that the subpartner is not experiencing tingling, numbness, or coldness as these can indicate that the restraints are pinching a nerve. Golly gee, that’s an unpleasant business. It’s also of utmost importance not to obstruct their breathing, even if there is a gag used. It’s alsoclever to have a pair of bandage scissors, which have a pointed upper blade but a blunt lower blade. In case of emergency or burning biscuits you can safely cut someone out of most restraints with these.

Bondage can be used in conjunction with all sorts of other activities – some time Aunt Daisy shall tell you all about other BDSM practices, but if you do try anything along those saucy lines in the near future, just remember, communication lovelies!

With all of this bondage, the most important consideration is, of course, not to let your chocolate biscuits burn! Ensure that your partner is more than fine with you leaving them waiting for a while when you need to run off after 15 minutes of baking to retrieve the biscuits; anticipation IS half the pleasure, after all. As long as they don’t burn, you will be blessed with a veritable bounty of moreish chocolate biscuits. Hand these out and you will be positively the most popular grandmother on the block!

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