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September 10, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
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Ask Becci

Do you think its possible for two people to have a long distance relationship for four years and never meet? I have a friend who just told me this story, I don’t believe him.


There are almost two questions tied up in this one! One is what you asked, simply whether it’s possible. The other is whether it’s realistic. I have a friend who swears by Internet relationships. She sees no reason why you can’t get to know someone just as well through the wonders of the Internet than you can in real life. She’s a heavy user of webcams, MySpace, Bebo, all that fun stuff.

She also has the habit of falling in love with anyone she meets online. She’s more often than not involved in a relationship with someone she’s never actually met in real life, and sees no reason to believe that there’s anything to make such a relationship less ‘real’ than with someone you met at uni or at a party, let alone that there’s anything wrong with it. Whether she’s actually in love is up for debate, but she certainly sees it that way.

I can see where she’s coming from. There’s a certain anonymity to the Internet, but that can be overcome by getting to know someone over time, and with the use of webcams etc. But at the same time, I doubt I’m alone in wondering how real such a relationship could be.

I know a lot of people are against long-distance relationships in principle, but I’m not one of them. I don’t see why a distance between two people should reduce their affection for each other in any way.

But, I’m not sure I’m convinced that you could develop that affection without meeting, instead of just maintaining it. Maybe that’s just a personal bias for cuddles, I don’t know.

I have to confess, I met one of my exes online. But it was more a strange coincidence that that was how it happened, since he was a friend of a friend, and we were probably bound to meet anyway. Also, a gay friend of mine met his boyfriend of two years on the net. But they met in real-life without too much mucking around, and it may be different in the gay community anyway. There aren’t so many around, so using alternative methods to meet people is more acceptable.

So, it’s entirely possible that your friend is telling the truth. But, it’s worth mentioning, my friend from earlier tends not to stay with any particular (as yet unmet) guy for longer than a couple of months.

Without the possibility of physical intimacy (emotional intimacy is probably a matter of opinion), I guess people just get bored. So whether or not you should believe them… I guess it’s up to you.

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