Viewport width =
September 24, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Prison Piggy Bank

From the October 2006 sentencing of Timothy Bowers in the case of Ohio v. Bowers. In May Bowers robbed a bank in Franklin County, Ohio. Dan Cable is the assistant prosecuting attorney. Jeremy Dodgin is Bowers’s attorney.

DAN CABLE: Mr. Bowers told the teller at the Fifth Third Bank that she should put loose bills in an envelope because he was robbing the bank. She put four $20 bills in an envelope, gave it to him, and hit the panic button. Mr. Bowers, however, approached the bank security guard and said, “Here, be a hero today,” and handed him the envelope. Then he sat down and waited for the police to arrive. They did, and arrested him for robbery. When they talked to him afterward, they learned that Mr. Bowers was running into financial trouble. His plan was to get arrested and go to prison until his Social Security kicked in.

THE COURT: Okay. Counsel, before I sentence Mr. Bowers, do you wish to say anything on behalf of your client?

JEREMY DODGIN: Your Honour, Mr. Bowers is due to receive Social Security when he turns 66-years-old. That will be in three years. He would like to be incarcerated for that entire time to alleviate the day-to-day travails of living life and being responsible for paying bills, housing and whatnot. This is an unusual and unfortunate situation in that an individual feels so helpless that he thinks being in prison is better than living with freedom.

THE COURT: Mr. Bowers, talk to me. What I’m hearing is that this was something that you decided to do because you felt it was in your best interests.

TIMOTHY BOWERS: Yes, ma’am. At my age, the jobs available to me are minimum-wage jobs, and the jobs I would prefer to have I can’t get because of my age. There is age discrimination in this country, contrary to what a lot of people believe. So this will suit me fine because when I reach 66 I’ll be eligible for Social Security benefits and all the other little goodies that go with them.

THE COURT: Well, when I heard your story, I said to Counsel that I didn’t think you needed to be evaluated because unfortunately it made too much sense. Your birthday is October 29. I’m going to give you your birthday present. You’re sentenced to three years in prison.

Kiddy Flicks

From childrens’ responses to the question “What new and interesting things did you learn from seeing these films?” in a survey by the Chicago International Children’s Film Festival. The festival, held last October, screened 241 children’s films from 40 countries.

Don’t be afraid to help sharks. –A.F., 10.
Because when he turned his self into a chicken the two chicken. -C.T.
That people in other worlds have more problems than we do. -L.H., 10.
I learned that you should never take a former evil king on a long desert hike. -A.S., 11.
Never play that game. -K.S., 10.
How to fight about toilets. -L.M., 10.
To talk Swedish. -N. B., 8.
t Life. -R.H., 8.
I learned that it was sad and that you had to go to someplace and get stuff. -J.T., 10.
Do not marry someone that you don’t know. -K.B., 9.
We found out what our dog does when we’re away. -M.B., 5.
Penguins have troubles too. -S.H., 10.
You don’t have to waste money on a tape recorder when you can study. – T.S., 12.
How cars look and not to take other people’s things. -K.S., 11.
That tha peple graf ther nose. -E.M., 11.
Dear Vittum Theater, I hope I win, I never win anything. Pick me. –A.T., 8.
The money. -V.M., 12.
Dogs can dig really fast in sand. –Anonymous.
People were getting in the secret organization. -S.H.,11.
When she became big and small how could she walk in the wall. –A.A., 10.
If you keep twisting in the bog you go down. A., 8.
If you lose your baby you will get mad. -F.O., 10.
No matter how clean they seem grandpa’s got your back. -M.R., 10.

Shelter From the Nuclear Storm

From the Frequently Asked Questions page of the U.S. government’s Hurricane Research Division website. Why don’t we try to destroy tropical cyclones by nuking them?

During each hurricane season, there always appear suggestions that one should simply use nuclear weapons to try and destroy the storms. Apart from the fact that this might not even alter the storm, this approach neglects the problem that the released radioactive fallout would fairly quickly move with the trade winds to affect land areas and cause devastating environmental problems. Needless to say, this is not a good idea. In addition, an explosive, even a nuclear explosive, produces a shock wave, or pulse of high pressure, that propagates away from the site of the explosion somewhat faster than the speed of sound. But such an event doesn’t raise the barometric pressure after the shock has passed. Attacking weak tropical waves or depressions before they have a chance to grow into hurricanes isn’t promising either. About 80 of these disturbances form every year in the Atlantic Basin, but only about five become hurricanes in a typical year. There is no way to tell in advance which ones will develop.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. An (im)possible dream: Living Wage for Vic Books
  2. Salient and VUW tussle over Official Information Act requests
  3. One Ocean
  4. Orphanage voluntourism a harmful exercise
  5. Interview with Grayson Gilmour
  6. Political Round Up
  7. A Town Like Alice — Nevil Shute
  8. Presidential Address
  9. Do You Ever Feel Like a Plastic Bag?
  10. Sport
1

Editor's Pick

In Which a Boy Leaves

: - SPONSORED - I’ve always been a fairly lucky kid. I essentially lucked out at birth, being born white, male, heterosexual, to a well off family. My life was never going to be particularly hard. And so my tale begins, with another stroke of sheer luck. After my girlfriend sugge