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October 15, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
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Ask Becci

Hi!

I’m Matthew, otherwise known as Becci. Yeah, Becci’s a dude. No biggie.

I’m a third year law, history and political science student. Real humanist, no? A Salient sub-editor since late last year, I took on the Ask Becci column when the real Becci stopped sending columns in.

I’m currently single, which I’m perfectly comfortable with. For a while people were actually seeking out my relationship advice (some of my friends still do), which confused me more than a little considering my own success in relationships. But meh, people are a little weird.

Candle-lit dinners are kind of lame, but sometimes to be romantic you have to be lame. I do actually enjoy long walks along the beach, but I prefer to take them alone. I like to listen to really good songs on repeat for half an hour or so at a time.

I’m often identified as an emo kid, which I’m cool with.

I’m mostly straight. I tend to identify as bisexual, but meh. I really liked the line from Desperate Housewives “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I loooove vanilla. But sometimes, I might be in the mood for chocolate.” I thought that was pretty awesome.

Writing the Becci column was fun part of the time, a total bore part of the time, but such is journalism. I don’t feel I ever really got Becci’s personality down pat. My idea of her in my head was pretty much “slightly sexed up but otherwise fairly conservative white girl.” I figured she was bisexual, mostly straight, like myself, but wasn’t too concerned to stick to that.

At least one person worked out that Becci was a dude, but most people were all “What!? You write Ask Becci?” when they found out, so, maybe I did okay? Apparently I’m not as sympathetic as the real Becci, which is kind of a downer, but I guess there’s not all that much I can do about it. Alternatively, PERSONALITY SURGERY.

Um, what else…

Presenting: Ask Matt things he’s patently unqualified to advise upon!

My boyfriend has just dumped me for the 15th time this week and yet again took me back within the hour what would you do? Im confused?

Don’t be offended! It’s obvious your boyfriend is dealing with something, and he’s not coping too well with it at the moment. Something is bothering him, and you need to sit him down and find out what it is.

Being that indecisive could mean a lot of things, but he’s not about to leave you any time soon. He may be unhappy about some aspect of the relationship, in which case you can find out what it is and work through it with him. Or it may be something entirely unrelated which is just making him feel uncertain in everything at the moment. Again, you’d want to talk things through with him and find out what the deal is. In this case it’s less likely that there’s something you can do to fix it, but just giving him the opportunity to talk about it may be all that it takes for him to improve.

He’ll come right given time, believe me. You just need to be supportive.

What should I do about an ex that I can’t forget. I was seeing someone for a very short time, He turned out to be a real creep, so needless to say, I called it quits with him. I’m with someone I really love now, but I can’t seem to forget the creep. Help

Well, if he was really such a creep, you shouldn’t have too much of a problem. Just remember the reasons why you called it quits. If they were really good reasons, that ought to be enough to convince you that thinking about him is really just wasting your time.

On the other hand… Was he such a creep? If you can’t get him out of your head, maybe there was something going on there that you need to look into. Remember Dawson’s Creek (which I never actually watched, I hasten to add), or any teenage drama, come to think of it. It’s probably on The OC too. “There seemed like a million reasons to end it at the time, but right now I can’t think of a single one.” If that’s how you feel, maybe you need to reevaluate this dude. But please. Don’t cheat on your current partner. When people are all “I really love my bf/gf, but I also really love my ex!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!” I’m a bit like “shut up.” I tend to think you can only love someone (romantically at least) at once. And cheating is just dirty and nasty.

Of course, there’s the possibility that you can’t forget him because of the “he’s so bad he’s good” thing. I totally don’t get that. Ask someone else.

Hi, i hope someone would be able to give me advice, I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 7 years, Just the other night i went through his phone, There i found an over rated porn video with him and another girl. What do i do?

Break up with him.

Alternatively, talk to him. Find out if it’s really what it looks like. I’m assuming the video is recent. I doubt he has a good explanation. If he doesn’t totally beg you not to leave him, break up with him. If he does, think about it. If you decide to forgive him, consider preparing a list of things he has to do to prove his love for you first, like on The Simpsons. I recommend making him eat a light bulb.

‘Kay, thanks Salient readers! It’s been fun.

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Comments (2)

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  1. marc a hampton says:

    I’m not even sure if you’re still responding to these. I just stumbled across your site; one if the questions/comments are *kinda* similiar to my situation so..what the heck!
    I have been hanging out with a really attractivce woman that professes to be a lesbian. When we’re out together people swear that we’re a couple & she makes those girlfriend “cooing” sounds that are men love. I have stated in no uncertain terms that I want to be the guy in her life. (I know..she said that she’s a lesbian).
    She has recently met a tennis buddy of mine and has been very attracted to him.
    I am confused, to say the least. [And here’s is where YOU come in..what do I do?

  2. Karl Bronstein says:

    Foolish Marcus, Ask Becci/Mathew concluded with the end of 2007. Perhaps you should read the article, which discusses that she/he shall not be returning. Good day Sir.

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