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October 15, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
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Pecking Order

Year in which…

It was announced that Kiwi households will be paying $2,890 extra next year; that only 26 per cent of voters believed that the Labour party would govern after the next election; NZ was ranked third to other OECD countries in rate of teenage fertility; scientists were conducting experiments which aimed to change the sexuality of homosexual sheep; a proposal for a $20 million dollar marine education center on Wellington’s south coast was scuttled at a taxpayer cost of $400,000; it took 20 hours for an average Kiwi e-mail account to collect 100 spam emails; Mayor Kerry Prendergast spent $39,860 of taxpayer money on travelling costs; New Zealand was ranked second in peacefulness compared with 121 other countries; our government spent an extra 44 per cent on each New Zealand man, woman and child since 2000; 7.5 per cent of Kiwi children lived in poverty; 21 WINZ staff received a benefit while working since 2002; 75 per cent of Kiwis preferred to buy products made in New Zealand; 80 per cent of newly registered doctors were overseas-trained; there was a 123 per cent increase in cell phone ownership for 10-year-old Kiwi kids; it was announced that the median age of a Kiwi woman giving birth last year was 30; prices of meat, poultry, fish, fruit and vegetables increased by 9.5 per cent; one out of four Kiwi women couldn’t remember what they did while drinking; 50 per cent of Kiwis thought it was okay to get drunk; 26 per cent of Kiwis had group sex, according to the Durex company; 50 per cent of Kiwis had group sex according to John Haig, Clint Rickard’s lawyer; it was concluded that an advertising stunt in which Hell Pizza gave out free condoms was the most offensive Kiwi advertisement of all time; there were 750 deaths caused by hospital errors; a typical Kiwi adult had sex 122 times; 27 per cent of Kiwis supported Sue Bradford’s anti-smacking Bill; former women’s rights officer Clelia Opie spent 14 hours on psychic and tarot hotlines before being fired; 17 police officers involved in cases of police misconduct were still serving in the force; 0.27 per cent of New Zealand gross national index was donated to development aid; $30,000,000 of New Zealand taxpayer contributions went towards the America’s cup; 38 per cent of New Zealand’s net worth was owned by the richest 5 per cent; Helen Clark said that George Bush was a clever and smart man four days after meeting him; 48 per cent of Kiwis couldn’t do without a cell phone; 95 per cent of Kiwis said they belonged to the middle class; Kiwis spent 724 hours watching TV; the average hourly wage for a Kiwi in the public sector was $26.40, compared with $19.07 for the private sector; it cost an extra $25 to fill a Toyota Corolla with unleaded petrol today compared with 2002; 25 per cent of New Zealand inmates re-offended within 12 months of leaving prison; 1,297,104 Kiwis had no religion; 21 per cent of Kiwis thought that climate change is hype and not happening (and probably haven’t considered the following); drought crazed camels rampaged through a village in Australia; a manatee swam past Chelsea Piers in New York City’s Hudson River; the Netherlands announced that its famous Elfstedentocht ice-skating race might have to be postponed forever; armadillos reached northeast Arkansas; wolves ate dogs in Alaska; fire consumed 50 million acres of Siberia; Greenland lost a hundred gigatons of ice; the Inuit got air-conditioning units; polar bears lurched toward the endangered species list; India’s Ghoramara Island was mostly lost to the Bay of Bengal; Papua New Guinea’s Malasiga village was mostly lost to the Solomon Sea; Alaska’s Shishmaref village decided to evacuate before being lost to the Chukchi Sea; Canadian scientists reported that the forty-square-mile Ayles ice shelf had broken off Ellesmere Island and had formed a rapidly melting island of its own; a European satellite showed a temporary crack in the ice pack leading from northern Russia all the way to the North Pole; the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration announced that last winter was the warmest since it began keeping records, which was in 1880; the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change announced that eleven of the last twelve years were the warmest in human history: 2007

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Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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