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March 10, 2008 | by  | in Opinion |
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In Defence of First years during O Week

Does the phrase, “I wanna go to town tonight, but there’s gonna be so many first years out” during O Week ring any bells? As a generalization, there are three types of first years. The attractive, high-end fashion popular kids, the attempting to be anti-conformist al-ter-na-tives, and the sheltered kids just cut loose from their parents’ wrath.

These groups have two things in common. Their main objective of the year is to break records in town looseness and sexual revolutions as independent youths. And everyone who is not a first year despises them.

You can spot them a mile away: they are the ones heading to town at 10pm, in ultra sexual gears or costumes, displaying outrageous PDA and over enthusiastic dance moves, and so intoxicated their bodies have morphed into 40 ounces stumbling down the street.

Despite the aversion to these poor kids, just like teenybopperness, being a first year is a right of passage. Yes we roll our eyes at their antics but I think we’re all guilty of the same offences! “I sooo wasn’t like that in first year” – Oh but Darling you were! But the great thing about it is we get gratification from not being the underdog and get a nice ego boost from it.

Another great feature of first years out on the town and around campus (this one’s for the guys) is Kitten Hunting – a chance to successfully hit on unsuspecting hot young girls who will be swept off their feet when they hear that you’re “third year” ;).

The best part of first years during O Week is the entertainment. Watching their insane drunkenness, running around clubs like midgets and forming dance circles like at school socials. The unrelenting attempts to score and the conversations overheard when they’re getting their “bonding” on.

The cringe factor these first precious weeks provide is unmatchable and deep down everyone really loves it. So don’t avoid the first years in town but also don’t break what is a brilliant tradition of being their “senior.” Don’t pretend you’re not a fan of the first year fundamentals; you know they are truly golden!

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