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April 7, 2008 | by  | in Opinion |
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7 Deadly-er Sins

The Vatican has announced a new set of 7 deadly sins. It appears that the apparently ambiguous sloth, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, wrath and pride were not cutting it for our modern evils. The new sins combat bio-ethics, a topic on which the Church has great authority. Genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, and polluting the environment are all now massive no nos.

The reason the world is so messed up is that we have gone against God’s intention. We are not meant to evolve further, despite a millions-of-years-old habit. We were never meant to grow to such a grotesque size and gobble up the world’s resources. Those pesky doctors using technology to evolve and curing us all so we live to ripe old ages are the ones to blame for our Earth filled beyond capacity. With warning signs like disease, arthritis, and dementia, living past 50 does seem a little unnatural and not the wisest for our species’ survival.

The other 7 Deadly Sins deal with social issues, poverty, injustice and drugs. The one that will strike the greatest chord with New Zealanders though is the sin of obscene wealth. The whole concept of condemning success has been ingrained in us at least since the introduction of NCEA, a system based on mediocrity. I now understand and am glad that my education has prepared me well to not commit the sin of capitalising on my abilities. Who knows, maybe old Mallard was tighter with the Vatican than we thought.

These sins, unlike the old ones, have no guidelines. It is impossible to not pollute the environment and there is no indication of what constitutes ‘obscene wealth’. We will all be in a constant state of guilt – which is the true Catholic way.

There is solace in this though, as we get to see that clergy are all dirty, dirty sinners too. They cannot claim they don’t pollute, and have you seen Vatican City? Something that’s a major tourist attraction because of its grandeur is definitely in the realm of obscene wealth.

So basically we’re all going to Hell… And this devil finds that amusing!

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