Viewport width =
May 26, 2008 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Big City Life

There are two things I never knew existed until I moved to Wellington. Food elitism and regional discrimination. In my place of work these two prejudices go hand in hand.

About a month ago on one boozy weekend I did three things: fell asleep wrapped around a toilet bowl (some would say passed out but I don’t think that’s fair); made myself spew in a petrol station garden; and made a Liquid Cocaine with Ayala.

Olly and Ollie (two out of four) looked on in horror as I helped myself to their French champagne and poured it into my vodka Red Bull. This incident is deemed worth mentioning at least once a week and is more often than not followed with “you’re SO Napier!” or something along those lines.

The next anecdote involves stealing, and since stealing is a real crime (as opposed to a food crime such as using Ayala as a mixer or dining at Lone Star) names or other details that could be identified have been changed.

At (blank), we work across from a (blank) (blank), where we (usually) buy ice. (Blank) sells ice for a ridiculous $4 per bag (although when you see their (blank) prices it makes sense, not that I care about (blank)). Before my first ice trip (Blank) tells me that we normally just take two bags. “I can’t steal!” I exclaimed, to which (Blank) replied, “sure you can, you’re from Hawke’s Bay.”

At what point did you become a thief based on the position of your hometown? Are there prejudices like this for other regions? Being called a JAFA doesn’t count. That’s not an insult; it’s merely a statement on where you’re from. Anyone could be another fucking person from anyplace.

And on the food side of things, when did Lone Star become a bad place to go? Because their plates are full of food instead of pretension? Maybe it’s just my work, and food elitism doesn’t exist.

That said, I do work in a highly judgmental environment. If you use the Entertainment Card you’re cheap. If you make a poor set of coffees you’re making “Napier coffees”. If you ask for a takeaway and consume in house you’re ruining the environment. I get that though. In fact, I hate that. Are you SO pressed for time that you can’t drink out of porcelain? Are you so cheap that you’ve realised a takeaway cup holds more than a normal one? Or are you so overindulgent that you order a large coffee, knowing by the time you get halfway through it’ll be cold, and think you’re so clever by asking for a takeaway because surely that man-made, unrecyclable material will keep your coffee hotter for longer. Well I’ve got news for you- it DOESN’T.

I need to spend 40 hours a week doing something else.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Issue 03 – Nō hea koe?
  2. Ka Tangi Te Tītī, Ka Tangi Te Kākā, Ka Tangi Hoki Ahau, Tīhei Maui Ora
  3. I Lift My Eyes
  4. The H-Word
  5. Where are you from?: A Loaded Question
  6. Stay Healthy: Fresher Flu is Back
  7. Māori and Pasifika support services: New phone, who dis?
  8. A Gay Old Time: Wellington Pride Festival 2019
  9. The Party Line: MMP 5% Threshold
  10. Piki Brings Four Counsellors to Victoria, One to Massey
Horse Betting-01

Editor's Pick

The Messara Report on New Zealand Horse Racing

: My mum’s family loves a “flutter”.   A “flutter” is Kiwi slang for betting. Usually on horse racing, but we’re also partial to the odd greyhound meet or two. In April 2018, the Minister for Racing, Winston Peters, released the Messara report, calling for the clos