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July 29, 2008 | by  | in Arts Online Only |
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Important Notice From Beyond The Grave

For a musician, lending one’s songs to advertising is a risky move. A band like the Doors can be shaken by losing one of their riffs to a car, so lesser bands should beware. Elemenop have gone too far with their presence on ads for Telecom and C4. Their entirely average pop rock schtick is made fairy unbearable by the singer’s inability to, well, sing, but all this would be okay if they didn’t force us to hear it when people are trying to tell us about their mobilised phone deals. Elemenop, Suck Satan’s Cock.

Yours Sincerely,
The Spirit of Bill Hicks.

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  1. Dr. Peter Manglethwaite says:

    I think what happened to Elemenop is that: The devil went down to Tahoe, and he was looking for a soul to steal,
    He was in a bind ‘cos he was way behind: he was willin’ to make a deal.
    When he came across some rock poppers playn’ rock and playin it shit
    and the devil jumped up on a Totara stump and said: “Band let me tell you what:
    “I bet you didn’t know it, but I’m a pop rocker too.
    “and if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
    “Now you play some pretty shit pop rock boy, but give the devil his due:
    “I bet a dildo of gold against you souls, ‘cos I think I’m better than you.”

    From there the story goes that the devil beat Elemenop, made them his cunty pop rock slaves and proceeded to inflict upon us the most horrible “music” possible. If they do indeed suck Satan’s cock, what we are hearing is the gargling of unholy jizz.

  2. Michael Oliver says:

    Uh. Okay.

  3. Chris says:

    Bill Hicks was right but I think his philosophy should be used on a case by case basis instead of blanketing all artists who appear on an advert with damnation. Sigur Ros, Nick Drake and Jose Gonzalez have all featured in advertising, I think they’re all still on the artistic roll call. Not that it matters, I can hardly think of a band more irrelevant that Elemeno P.

  4. Mint Chips says:

    I saw an ad today, can’t remember what it was for but it had the ‘Eagle vs Shark’ theme, I mean, wtf?

  5. Meddle says:

    Well I think that ad for I can’t remember would have been shit without She’s A Rainbow.

    So yes, case by case basis indeed.

  6. Superior Mind says:

    Sometimes the musician benefits more than the company though; case in point, Cadbury’s new, (for NZ anyway,) ad with the Gorilla. I don’t know if Cadbury’s sales have gone up but Phil Collin’s is at number one for a song that he released in 1981.

    I don’t really mind artist lending their songs to ads, Elemeno P may have gone a bit far with their current corportate prostitution, (remember Dave Gibson also lent his voice to Vodafone,) but I reckon it’s cool that sometimes an ad will introduce or reintroduce you to an awesome song, like some car ad on at the moment has got me listening to Deep Purple again. Can’t remember what the car was though.

  7. Chris says:

    Thats true. But their is also an element of utter rejection when you discover these things – like when I discovered Jefferson Airplane helped make two ‘psychedelic’ levi-jeans radio advertisements in the 60s… for a band that rides such anti-establishment principles it does seem a tad hypocritical. Especially for fans that truly love the band, it can be disillusioning and alienating.

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