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July 14, 2008 | by  | in Opinion |
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It’s been a long time coming but, having finally read enough Margaret Cho to fuck a Republican in half, I feel comfortable holding an opinion about gay marriage. I’ll admit that it’s mainly hers, but then it’s difficult to have a discussion about gay marriage without referring almost solely to the battle raging at the frontline, in the US. Gay rights are used much more as a political tool in a country where religious views are so engendered in the voting public’s mind. Bush would not have been re-elected if his view on gay marriage were anything short of uncompromising. Barack Obama might find it difficult to look favourable to the extremely large Christian population opposing the California Amendment. The Civil Union bill was not about to make or break anyone’s political career in New Zealand except for maybe Tim Barnett’s, but even now I still can’t tell where his horrible teeth end and being too liberal and intelligent for this country’s taste begins.

My occasional skim over never fails to remind me that we have it pretty sweet in New Zealand. We use the same running water as everyone else, eat at their restaurants and go to their universities. We can even adopt their children (sometimes) but we can’t marry our partners of twenty years because we’re supposed to be happy with a kind of special, de facto marriage called a ‘Civil Union’. Civil Unions are not good enough. I use the word ‘their’ because marriage is not ours, and as long as the verb ‘to marry’ can only be used to describe a solely heterosexual act, gay people will not be allowed to function on the same plain as the ‘other’ in civil society. °QuÈ Civil Union!

I honestly don’t know why you’d want to get married in the first place, which is why the issue of gay marriage perhaps isn’t as close to my heart as, I dunno, student issues like pinot noir and lap-dances (ref. last week’s column.). My heart sunk at the end of the Sex and the City movie. I leapt with joy when rumours emerged that Dr. Phil got a divorce. The whole idea of and history to the institution of marriage puts me off, but I guess the romantic ideal and certainly the ideal of equality is something worth picking up pen for. Marriage is beautiful, especially when the bride-to-be has a little stubble, or the husband has a strapon. Why does a partnership have to be validated legally? Why can’t we exist as a married couple would, while not actually being married? Well, it doesn’t, and we don’t have to. Sure we can get a Civil Union now – we can have the same legal rights as married couples – but the fact we can’t actually marry is constant reminder that we still don’t have the same social status.

Well. That’s my frantically-written- just-before-the-deadline two cents. I’ve been requested to do a quick plug for my brother Quentin down at MAWSA. Y’all should roll on down to the Sexual Re-Orientation on the 19th at SubNine!!! Justin’s doing the music so I’m sure we’ll get some Girlicious in there somewhere! There’s also the Glamazons and lots of other austere Queers who are sure to have us on our knees. I don’t actually know about tickets but I’m sure there’ll be some scrumptious student deal (I’m guessing $5) happening on the door. Whatever the price, it’ll be worth it!!! See you there!

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