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August 4, 2008 | by  | in Film |
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Don’t Mess with the Zohan

Directed by Dennis Dugan

If you haven’t seen it yet, Adam Sandler’s latest hilarity fest, Don’t Mess with the Zohan came out a few weeks ago. And let’s just say that after watching it, I didn’t feel so tough anymore. He can play table tennis whilst barbecuing fish. He can do nohanded push-ups. He fights so fast that Neo is put to shame, he dances better than JT and Chris Brown put together, and he’s a champion with his sack… hacky and otherwise.

Beginning in the Middle East, Zohan fights his nemesis Phantom and spectacularly fakes his own death in a bid to escape to America, the land of freedom and peace. Here he fulfils his lifelong dream of becoming a hairdresser, and to cut a long story short (no pun intended), he quickly becomes the most sought-after stylist in town. Zohan (now named Scrappy- Coco) seduces everyone around him with his ill-mannered charm, and at this point, the movie is actually funny enough to ignore the bad things you’ve heard about it. But that moment of seduction dies fast. Read on.

Rob Schneider enters the scene as a Palestinian cab driver and notices that the mighty Zohan is not actually dead, so among the too-offensive-to-be-funny racist slurs, he gangs together with his mates and they plan to kill Sandler with bombs etc. Here is where I started stretching my neck with boredom. It all gets a bit ridiculous and rough. Scrappy-Coco falls in love, stops banging old ladies, brings the community together in peace, and pretty much becomes a hero. Mariah Carey’s cameo appearance can’t even save the film.

Perhaps there was more to it, but I was too busy wondering if brushing my teeth with hummus would make me tougher or if it would just be really expensive.

The verdict: Hmmmmmm. I used to want to marry Adam Sandler and now I’m not so sure.

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