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September 22, 2008 | by  | in Opinion |
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NZI Sevens = Zero

On Wednesday 17 September, all work was abandoned as people sat waiting for the clock to tick over to 9am so the fury of purchasing Sevens tickets could begin. But most walked away empty handed and spent the whole day depressed. But you shouldn’t have – the Sevens are overrated.

The main ‘highlight’ of the Sevens is dressing up. Everyone knows that dressing up is lame. I’ve lost count of the number of times someone has attempted to host a dress-up party and only the person’s close friends have made the effort, and that is usually just out of pity. People don’t enjoy dressing up so why should Sevens be an exception? It isn’t.

Atmosphere is another familiar buzz word thrown around when describing the NZI Sevens. Everyone is just super friendly to each other and you all become best friends because you are united under this common love of being drunk during the day. More likely than not the day after the Sevens will be filled with cringing stories of that drunken yarn you had to that absolute freak you would otherwise have never talked to or how you were nice to your arch-enemy. By not being at the Sevens you are avoiding that horrible situation.

A chance to get laid is also synonymous with the Sevens weekend. Being highly intoxicated and most of the girls being dressed like sex-on-a-stick is seen to enhance your chances of getting lucky. And sure that’s totally great if all you’re after is a biff-bam-thank-you-ma’am with no strings attached and probably not even a name exchange. I’m pretty sure that’s not what those who are single to mingle want at all!

And finally, did you really want to waste your $115 plus on a rugby tournament where I can guarantee you won’t actually get to watch a hell of a lot of rugby with all the partying going on? Really those that have missed out should be happy as Larry and the joke is actually on the people like me who are going.

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