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April 27, 2009 | by  | in Opinion |
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bibliophiliac noun Person who is so aroused by books that they have to get it off in the library, either alone or with others. Most commonly found in the darkness of the first floor, by the Religion and Psychology sections.

blogospherical adjective On the blogosphere, i.e., the internet. Matt: “Did you see that blogospherical kitteh gif?”Sarah: “Please speak like a normal person.”

come down the mountain (on somebody) verb To bring to justice via student journalism. Usually happens to nubdom.MJO: “Fucking nubs ruining everything. Let’s come down the mountain on ‘em.”

cosgrove verb To act inappropriately, usually involving one’s beloved penis. See graphalli artist.

course unrelated costs noun Goods or services required to maintain one’s social life and appearance (in order to study to the best of one’s ability). E.g., beer, new shoes, an iPod, or a lawyer to defend yourself in court against VUWSAN.Morgan: “Where’d you get your sweet leather jacket, eh?”Andrew: “Claimed it on course unrelated costs, bro.”

double spacing noun When two spaces are used after a full stop or otherwise; ultimate sin.Elle: “Were you being sarcastic about the double spacing?”Mikey: “I’m always serious when it comes to double spacing.”

firstyearism noun or firstyearist adjective Prejudice or hate expressed towards first years because of their inability to adhere to university life and lack of common sense when it comes to the unwritten pedestrian traffic rules on campus. Being second year or higher automatically qualifies a student to be firstyearist.

grammerz noun grammerz, am teh thing wot keeped lanugage gud 4 speek gud yous needs grammerz lol

graphalli artist noun Lowlifes (e.g., first years) who draw drastically enlarged versions of their own penises on bathroom walls or similar.

Guy Armstrong noun Division by zero.

herstor noun Typical Kiwi bloke who likes rugby, hogging the remote and drinking with the boys. Modern day warriors.

herstory noun Hangout or place of training for herstors.

jizz verb To express one’s excitement or arousal. Usually occurs in one’s pants. Rory: “Hey, I just scanned in toilet paper to use as a background for your editorial.”JJW: “Holy shit, I just jizzed in my pants… Where’d you put that toilet paper?”

kia ora interjection A usually positive recognition of something. MJO: “Kia ora nubdom, kia ora.”

kioskbooker noun Person who uses the printing kiosks in the library to spend excessive time on Facebook, when someone most likely urgently needs to use it to print off their essay to hand it in on time.

nubdom noun A magical kingdom or state of mind where people are blissfully unaware of their own shortcomings or inexperience, i.e., innate nubbishness. See VUWSAN.

Obamaramabananallama noun The llama used in the Obama Campaign to distribute bananas. Also something fun to say really fast, while at the same time propagandising Obama’s presidency.

pseudonym noun Fake name used to hide one’s identity when writing into Salient, in order to avert the shame of doing so.

Salientron noun The primary supercomputer used at Salient. Rumoured to know everything, and fluent in over two operating systems, including Windows 3.1.

Soviet Uni noun In Soviet Uni, we make YOU think.

terminal verbosity noun The maximum speed at which one can speak. Sarita: “Oh. My. God. You wouldn’t believe what I just saw, therewasthisdogthatbitthisguyandthenhegotrabiesand…[incomprehensible]”Mikey: “She’s reaching terminal verbosity!”

The Week That Wasn’t noun Section in Salient containing fictional news events as satire. Not to be confused with the actual news.

unemployment noun What awaits you upon completion of your BA. Also collective noun. An unemployment of graduates.

VUWSAN acronym (Pronounced voo-san) Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association of Nubs. Also known as VUWSA, but only to members of the executive.
JJW: “What’s the latest at VUWSAN?”
JF: “…You mean VUWSA?”
JJW: “Nope.”

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About the Author ()

Mikey learned everything he knows about English Grammar in an MSN chat room when he was 13. Believing that people don't say "LOL" enough in everyday conversation, he has made it his mission to teach the world about grammerz one person at a time.

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