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May 25, 2009 | by  | in Online Only |
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Letters on the Internet

letters

I would never deprive you all of your letters. So here they are. Commenting has been turned off so that hopefully we will get some of your letters to publish next week.

If you would like to email the editor you can do so here or at editor@salient.org.nz. For some other cool ways to contact us look here.

Vic Books Letter of the Week

Dear Becci-lient,

I often gag during oral sex. Is this normal?

onelineletters

[The question you raise is an important one. Please stop by the office sometime during the week to pick up your $20 VicBooks voucher. JJW]

1st Question

Dear Salient,

Why not have a quick quiz every week? It could have questions like whihowis the NZ flag different from the Australian flag? (the NZ one has 4 red and white, 5-pointed stars, the Australian has 6 completely white, 7-pointed stars), or how many balls are used in a snooker game? (32). It would be fun.

[If you want to do this for us then you can. If you copy the Dom’s you will be punched. JJW]

Gaming Fury

Gosh, DotA == Dawn of the Ancients? Pah you disgust me.

I agree somewhat with your Demigod review however, it left me very unsatisfied- only eight heroes, no ‘recipe items’, meaning the choice in items was disappointing.

Having played DotA for a while, I am used to more range, (94 heroes, compared to eight?!). the gameplay is faster, more stimulating, and frankly requires a shit-ton more skill.

However I do like the graphics in Demigod, they leave Warcraft III somewhat in the proverbial dust.

Someone should make a Demigod mod, which uses the Supreme Commander game engine, but replicates all heroes, items and the original map of DotA

Rikimuru

Meeting Madness

Dear Salient (the letters of mine you published in 2006 had cool names for you, but apparently I’m not cool any more, so I won’t re-name you)

So no-one came to the recent meeting.
Let’s keep this simple;
How about we hold the meetings with more notice and at a time where we can all make it?
I’m on a course that means I am not available to come to campus for several weeks at a time.

Tim

You lookin’ at me?

I’m walking around campus feeling self-conscious. There’s people around me minding their own business keeping to their everyday lives. But for some reason, every time I walk around and get within hearing range, I get the feeling they start talking about me. And then normal chit-chat becomes insults. People question my sexuality because of a eunuch’s obsession. It really is not my fault that I carry around a priceless piece of property with me. So then I go home, and to forget what I heard I watch some television. I see this commercial about how it is not OK how there is domestic violence in society while there’s this hole in the wall in my room.

I’m trying to live my life just like everyone else. But to all those people that make their day a little better through me, your welcome.

Food in the Library

Dear Salient,

You know how we’re not actually supposed to take hot food into the
library? I’m assuming this isn’t because we’re likely to spill it
everywhere; rather because the smell distracts others, right?
Well what about fruit? More specifically, oranges and mandarins…
Believe it or not, some people actually hate the strong smell and it can get very distracting when you’re trying to work…
Please consider others when you bring food into areas people study
in…

~ Distracted

Rainy Days

Dear rain-dripping-away-lient

It is raining, my head remains dry, Salient proves its worth once again.

Now I would like to raise an issue regarding the general atmosphere at Wellington bars, notably Courtney place which I seem to frequent despite the disgust of outspoken ‘friends’. After about 12-1.00am the females, by far the more aesthetically pleasing of the species, seem to disappear. This could be a result of my inability to ‘pick up’ while others do but nonetheless after this time the level of violence around seems to escalate dramatically.

With the males now outnumbering the females fights seem to spring up all over the show causing injury and damage, overflowing the health system and imposing a large cost on us the tax payer.

The lesson is girls you are required to not only stay in town but take all the males home, it is your duty to this county you owe it to the government that subsidies (somewhat inadequately) your education. If you do a good job you might even free up more money for the dwindling education budget and appease those CRIM students.

Seahorse

Ramblings

To all those living in hostels,

Isn’t it a wonderful semi- memorable experience!
You wake. Discovering that that you did, indeed, miss your bin last night. You stand. Then it hits you. The room spins slightly. You check the time. Its 7am. Shit. Am I still drunk? Most probably, Yes. You waddle slowly out your door. Dodging the wet patches on the ground in the hallway, hoping that wasn’t you. You arrive at the toilet, to find Saturday night’s diner, Butter Chicken, all over the first toilet. Move along one. Groan. Splash. After your one on one time with the big white telephone, you walk back down the hall, the smell of alcohol, spew and Easy Mac overwhelms you. You fill your 2L Sprite bottle (the cleanest one you can find) and return to your room, for, a, very, long, time.
I pity all who must work on a Sunday.
All those loud people arriving home from a wonderful night in welly from 2am onwards. It must be hard.
Screaming, giggling, or knocking on your door to see if you’re awake, then trying to use the handle. You lie in your bed hoping to hell that you locked your door.
But unfortunately, tonight is not your night, in staggers Dave from the floor below with his mates…

You wake. 7am. You have 45minutes to get ready for work. You sprint to the showers, clear away the cans. Lovely… cold water. You wait… for ten minutes. You hear the sounds of spew in the background. In you hop, and out you hop. Down the hall again. Clothes. Shoes. Hair. Bag. Keys. You try and fail to wake Dave from the floor. Down the stairs. You sprint down the street. You arrive.

To discover you don’t start until 10am.

Zealots

Dear Salient,

After reading Evan Cody’s letter last week I’ve decided to write in about the same two gents who approached me while I was waiting for a lecture. I however, won’t be nearly so tactful. To you two gentlemen who go around asking people to compete in your ‘survey about values’, fuck you.

My anger comes mostly from the fact that I didn’t have Mr. Cody’s ability to just walk away. You see, I’m a smarmy philosophy student and thought I could argue my way out of the situation. It ended with these two delightful gentlemen telling me tactfully that I would burn in hell for all eternity. Genuinely tactful I’ll add, noting that my “soul is in danger of being compromised”, but still essentially saying that I’m due to be violently sodomized by a jabbering Saddam Hussein for all eternity.

Calling your little conversion session a ‘survey about values’ seems to indicate that anyone who isn’t a member of your congregation actively lacks values. Look, I’m a nice guy. Maybe not Gandhi, but I try. Yes, there are nice religious people and atheists who are arseholes, but there are also nice atheists and religious folk who make me want to commit homicide. To assume that religious affiliation and values are connected is completely absurd.

So in short dear campus converters, go to hell.

Regards,

a Doomed Soul

Coffee strikes back

WOW! Does it really take 5 coffees to grate on you? If you were really concerned about the quality of your coffee, why not speak to the ‘award winning barista’, we are only happy for you to come behind the scenes and see for yourself that every shot is a DOUBLE. We have very few customers requesting a quadruple shot, and in fact a number do request a weaker coffee, which we stop the extraction earlier for. We have never and will never compromise our coffee, and if anything we have absorbed the exorbitant increases to coffee and milk during the last 18 months and might I add, there have been 3 increases to milk alone. Our coffee sales have remained the same during the recession, which is a testament to our commitment to making a great cup. You also mentioned others in the industry compromising their coffee, as far as we know most have increased their prices, rather than reducing the shots to a ‘single’. We have taken it upon ourselves to continue with our price structure, i.e. no price increase and our DOUBLE SHOTS remain standard for every coffee, and once again a weaker coffee request is stopped shorter.

You don’t mention what coffee you order, nor do you sign off on your letter. We would recommend that you go for a regular coffee size, as when you increase to a larger cup you are getting a milkier drink because the same DOUBLE shot extraction in exactly the same whether you buy a short espresso, a Large Latte, or a regular Flat White. As for your measurements it is approximately 20 to 25gms of coffee per double shot extraction, and not ‘using half a teaspoon of ground coffee per cup’. Some people mistake an over extracted coffee for a ‘stronger coffee’.

We take no offence to your letter, but are only disappointed that being a ‘regular’ customer you did not discuss your concerns with us directly. Most of our regulars would feel comfortable if there was a real issue.

Perry Sue, Galleria Barista Cafe

Pen Driving across Vic

Dear Cleaner Upper-er,

Firstly, just to get it off my chest, I sincerely hope that “Yay INFO 101″, in reference to being technically savvy, was either
a)A joke
b)A troll

While Vic does indeed provide services for storing your datas, sometimes there is data that you (or talking for myself, I) do not want left on the Vic PCs, either because it is larger than my measly data allowance, or because it is not appropriate for the Uni PCs, (for example I keep several portable versions of commercial software on my removable storage, which I like to be able to use at Uni, however it is warez and I wouldn’t want to get in trouble)

Also emailing yourself things is not a very good solution for accessing files at home/uni, really now come on.

Regards,
Better-than-you

There he was, riding on a raptor…

Dear Prey-lient

To Evan Cody, I write to you to warn you, those “Jesustron freaks” prey on first years. Reading your letter reminded me of a time when I was first year, so innocent. I was walking down Cuba towards uni, when a waldo looking lady (lets call her something creative, how about Jesus Lady )asked me if I liked incense, to which I replied, yes. I told her I enjoy burning incense every now and then, it helps to cleanse my room from the smells of hooker spit, vomit and 2 week old nancho’s (meat and all). She started blabbing and it the conversation turned nasty, Jesus appeared, verbally. I told her no thanks and kept walking to Te Aro. I saw Jesus Lady again, the next day this time she saw me coming from a distance and made a jesus-line towards me. She opened with the same question, to which I once again politely said no thanks, and continued walking. Later that same day I stepped out into the sunlight, rather pissed off about getting a “C+” for a project from a tutor who was sleeping with students. I found she had followed me and waited outside Te Aro campus. She noticed me and made a believe-me-or-I’ll-hit-you-line towards me. I saw her coming and was ready, I told her to fuck off because I wasnt interested, she replied “its working for some people” and I told her that it wasnt working for me so “fuck off and die”.

I haven’t seen that slut since, so my message is hate them, because deep down they hate you for not believing what they believe.

Peace out,
Buddha.

p.s The female creatures at Te Aro are so sexy, except for the digital media kids your all nerds………and so am I :(

Where oh where has my grammerz gone?

Hey blasphme-lient

To the christians who insist on being ‘offended’ by people speaking, has it ever occurred to you that other people may be offended by you? By your dark age mentality? By your obvious hostility to free speech? Why should we bend over backward to accomodate your sensibilities? You are at uni! Grow up! People will say things that you might not agree with. Shock Horror! Is your god so petty and small minded as to care? Then again his name is Jealous I suppose (Exodus 34:14)

As a side note muslims may be offended by the fact you didn’t add peace by upon him after speaking the name of the prophet while buddists may be offended by your shoddy spelling.

Word Nazi

Grammar Wars pt. 36

Dear Grammar-nazient

Why can people not grasp the fundamental difference between there/their/they’re? It hurts me, every time. The same goes for your/you’re, or any misplaced apostrophe … A lack of spell check is not an excuse, for the sake of cheese, we’re at University! – You do know they take marks off for incorrect grammar?

From Phoenix and the Big Red Pen.

P.S. For some reason right now I can only access email at home but not browse the internet. At University I can browse the internet but not get email. This makes things interesting, at a time of term when I really don’t want interesting …

P.P.S. I do not like having to sign in five times to access the University’s wireless internet, only to have it cut out on me. Then I have to start the sign-in process again. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200 …

We return to the trenches

Dear Salient, more specifically Word Nazi,

I would really like to meet you so that I can show you that Love exists in this world! You seem to have lost any true meaning in your life apart from concrete facts, which lead your dull life and responding to me in your lectures. You should be at university because you are passionate about what you do, not to be bored for education you’re paying for! It seems as though you have lost your passion for life because you do not love anything. Oh, and yes, I know I do not have a degree in Quantum Physics but other people do, and it is those people who I have been talking to. What I talk about exists whether you know / accept it or not. Post-modernist? or Free-Thinker? So how about it?

Love to all (including Word Nazi)

Tades

P.S: The Religion Issue on salient.org.nz – keen!

In the Navy…

Dear Salient.

I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but I have a crush on Word Nazi. Every Monday I get my copy of salient so that I may read their letter and suddenly my life feels complete.

Like last week, after my cat was run over in the weekend, I read their letter where they brutalised that fuck-up Tades and I was overcome with a sense of immense happiness. You give me meaning Word Nazi, I love you.

I hope that one day we may get married and have 2.4 children, a cute little house with a white picket fence and a Labrador puppy. We can live happily together until our son turns 22 and still lives in the garage with scraggly facial hair and a motorcycle.

From there we can move into an apartment over-looking a park, drive matching black Chrysler 300C’s and throw extravagant dinner parties for all of our friends. On Saturdays we can visit art galleries and on Sundays I can make you a breakfast-in-bed of buttery pancakes and fresh strawberry jam.

When we retire we’ll move to the seaside in a small cottage with red roses by the front door and a plastic flamingo on in the lawn. I’ll crochet in the mornings while you collect driftwood from the beach and our afternoons will be spent nailing each other in the sand dunes.

Word Nazi, I love you with all of my heart.

Derek.

Quantum Post modern-ularity

Dear Salient,

Recently I have become so post-modern that I been caught in an infinitely regressing spiral of self-referentiality. I’m not sure how to escape. Any suggestions?

Michael “Michael “Michael “Michael “Michael Hempletine” Hempletine” Hempletine” Hempletine” Hempletine

[Advice: Change your name to Gringwald and move to Uzbekistan to farm watercress. ‘Tis the only way, my son. JJW]

Ouch, Burn

To the unnamed Christian student who took it upon his/her self to speak for every Christian student at Vic:

Top 5 people who should go suck each other off:
1)God
2)Buddah
3)Mohhamed
4)Jesus
5)You

That is all.

Krillen’s Lament

Salient,

A song about Dragonball Evolution to the tune of Metallica’s One

I can’t remember the anime.
Can’t make the pain inside go away.
Deep down inside I start to choke.
This terrible film is some sick joke.

Now that the film is through with me,
My inner child was raped violently.
But I’m an accessory;
I took my kid brother too.

Hold my ticket, I did not dig it.
Oh please refund me.

Out of the theatre I smell a sequel.
The hurt that I feel has no equal.
Oh James Wong why’d you make this treacle?
Is it too soon to reboot?

Yes it really was that bad.

Seen better CG on a Telstra Clear ad.
Oozaroo made me spew just a tad.

What would they do with DBZ?

Hold my ticket, I did not dig it.
Oh please refund me.

Made Catwoman look like Watchmen.
Oh refund me.

Hold my ticket, I did not dig it.
Oh please refund me.

Trust Fox to give us this shit.
Ruined X-men.
Cancelled our Firefly.
Piccolo’s grey.
Why’s Goku white?
I blinked and I missed,
The concluding fight.

Shit film has taken my time.
Taken my 10 bucks.
Taken my childhood.
Taken my brother’s.
Taken my Tien.
Taken my Krillin.
Left me in fanboy hell.

Tim A. Rufus

Girlz

Hi there Salient

I thought i would just pop a wee email in saying amen to the Bitchin’ story!
Where has all the sninny love gone? This topic is one recently pondered by me and mine
When a credit is due to another lady, even if it is just that her legs look smoking in that wee stiletto and miniskirt combo, then give it to her! Maybe you will make her night, could be the nicest, most positive thing she has heard in days. As Fiona said support each other! Girls we all look nicer when we smile, so come on, be happy, positive, compliment giving girlies!
I have the most amazing group of sninnys and reading this made me think of them and smile! Thanks

Battle of the sexes

Dear The Common On Nominator,

Just as you pity ‘Colonel Cluster’, my flatmate and I pity you.

First of all, next time you intend to write an epic letter in order to restore our faith in womanhood please do so in a civilized, mature manner. Putting down the opponent by calling him a “gay virgin” is low, nor does it scream of your own intelligence.

Second, when you make a grand statement such as “…we’re better than you” be prepared to back yourself up with a solid argument. You cannot expect to be taken seriously by stating you are better than someone without providing a reason. If you are willing enough to slag someone off, the least you can do is provide a reason for doing so.

Third, I strongly doubt that a men’s edition of Salient would be entirely blank. Just as women, men have issues which are overlooked and should be addressed. In this day in age, women have gone berserk in order to bring women’s issues to light. However, if we are to talk about equality then why should we not address men’s issues?

Women are intelligent, no argument there (not all of us unfortunately…there are exceptions). Yes, women’s roles have been overlooked and to some extent ignored. Don’t play identity games because the way to equality does not involve mud-slinging at various groups. There will always be historical figures (male and female) that are more important than others. If we are to play identity games though, better examples could have been used. Kate Sheppard, women can thank her for giving us the vote. Rosa Parks, a prominent figure in the black civil rights movement in the U.S. etc. etc.

Yea, women have periods, we bear children…so what? External genitals…really? Smooth move…

Forgive me but this argument not only does no justice to women BUT it also makes me ashamed of being a one. For, if we are to begin another women’s rights crusade by following your argument we would then live up to the belief of women being the weaker vessels.

“Try again” ;-)

Sonya S.

Playing with Primates

Dear salient,

I am writing because I have some things to get off my chest about that article about women scientist in the women’s issue.
the 1st thing I have a problem with is the glaring omission of some fairly important female scientists, Namely; Marie Curie,her daughter Irene Joliot-Curie, and Lise Meitner, all of whom contributed to the fields of radioactivity and nuclear science. What makes their exclusion all the more odd is the article did include Chien-Shiung Wu who according to the article worked in the same general field,in fact the Manhattan project(which Ms Wu worked on) may never have happed if it hadn’t been for Lise Meitner as she discover Nuclear fission which is what makes an A-bomb go bang!
Also there was no mention, either of Jane Goodal or Diana Fossie who both did well publicized work with primate behavior.

my 2nd beef is the sly way in which this article pushes a particular radical feminist barrow, it was supposed to be a feature not! an opinion piece. I’m talking here mostly about the section on Rosalind Franklin where the writers suggest that Ms Franklin some how robbed of a Nobel Prize. What the writers conveniently neglect to tell us is the fact that she had died before Watson, Crick & Wilkins were awarded the ‘Prize’ so her not getting it is entity academic, as to my Knowledge they don’t award posthumous Nobel Prizes. I hasty add here this in no way reduces her contributions

Which brings me to my 3rd beef , Marie Equi this Woman was NOT!! a Scientist there is no mention of any contribution she made to World Knowledge and as for the stuff about her playing mummy ‘n’ mummy with her girlfriend so?
Finally Maria the Jewess,may I suggest she has as much historical validity as Messier Litre, the little known 16th century chemist and glass maker. Who was in fact the invention of 2 20th century chemist to justify using an upper case ‘L’ for litre ( an honor which usually only units name after people get).
yours

Science-Dude.

These boots were made for walking

Dear Salient,

I was going to write about two things in this letter. The first was going to be about religion, however I ran out of words to include that and my second point. Which is far greater importance than the first.

To all the truly amazing and dedicated girls that walk up the Mount St path in boots or heals. That shit looks painful. I don’t know whether it is or not, but if that grimace isn’t from walking behind that guy from U-stay with bad B.O and no deodorant, it must be from the shoes. But your pain is for a good cause. Cos seriously, in winter there is nothing sexier than a pair of tight high leg boots with a bit of a heel. Your constant effort to look your best is truly a blessing to this world. To those chicks who are to fat and sassy to bother, that gets noticed too. Mind you, I should thank you too, as the added support those Asic’s give you probably save me from the risk of an Indiana Jones like situation if you were to fall. But to all the beautiful woman out there, with nice boots, thank you, you make me smile.

MacGregor!!!!!1111

[I think a big mention should also be made about the dudes who walk up Mt. Street in high heels. You know who you are. We can see you from the office. JJW]

My fav is Garamond

Dear mtstreetcafeisbetterthanthatoneinkirkbuilding-lient

Calibri is totally the most underrated text. I recently got a computer with vista, and with Calibri as default text on Word I started using it, and… WOW-lient! Sure blows any of the popular text out of the water. Arial? That shit just sucks. Verdana? Good when you first start using it, but starts to look more and more homosexual the more you use it. Times New Roman? Fuck off.

The real text is Calibri. Shouldn’t be any competition. I don’t know why computers even have shit like Verdana and Arial anymore. It’s clear no one likes them.

Yours Homonymly
Hal Warren

01001100001100110011001100110111

Hi Salient
111040141155040142157162145144040141156144040160162157143162141163164151156141164151156147056
040120154141171151156147040167151164150040157143164141154040151163040146165156040141156144040
141040147162145141164040167141171040164157040160141163163040164150145040164151155145

Yours,
Comp Geek

Online-lient is online

Dear Savetherainfores-lient

I was caressing your loving cheeks during my hellishly early 1pm Monday morning class when I read most disturbing news. Next week’s (I suppose this week now) edition of Salient will be online only! “This cannot be!” thinks I. What will I do to whittle away the time in my coming Monday morning lecture? Listen? Talk to a stranger? Read the Dominion Post? Never!

After calming down a bit, I realised that most of you will still be there: the articles, the articles I don’t read, the columns and the hilarious deranged rantings of mad(wo)men (letters). But there’ll be bits missing, notably the delicious advertisments and the front cover. This is the part I fear the most, not having a snazzy front cover to look at – no colourful explosion of art to draw my gaze as it sits aloof on my desk, sneering at the scribbled and scrawled lined paper
scattered about.

It’s like comparing a limited-edition, hand-numbered, transparent red 12″ vinyl to a 96kbps, 30 second-sample mp3 downloaded off limewire: just not the same!

at least it’s only for one week eh?

yours physically,
Mickey Morris

Napiercore Rock Death Blood Music

Dear xSalientx

I moved down to Wellington earlier this year from Napier in sunny Hawkes Bay. Now Napier was a very small town with little to do in comparison to Wellington, there were no malls, no massive cinemas, no cable cars, and quite frankly the night life was shit, but Napier did have one thing….. a thriving Hardcore/Metal core scene in which hundreds of people would congregate every couple of weeks to bang their heads, flail their arms, and unintentionally spin kick their peers in the face. Tops.

Having lived in Wellington for a few months I heard from the other Napier kids about a Hardcore/Metal core show, having anticipated this day since my arrival I was overwhelmed with excitement, but better yet, Saving Grace where headlining. Saving Grace always put on a great show; raw, powerful, true Metal core, none of that watered down bullshit. I was beside myself with excitement, having seen how intense the scene in such a small town was I couldn’t begin to imagine what it must be like in a city like Wellington! WRONG!

No one at the show showed their appreciation for the first few bands, and when I say “appreciation” I mean it wasn’t demonstrated in the form of people clashing together, arms spinning around like windmills, and spin kicks that could knock your head clean off. Then came Saving Grace…. “Surely these people are going to throw down to these guys!” I said to my equally disappointed friend, and sure enough………. Everyone just stood up at the front nodding their fucking heads and tapping on their chests as if it where a freakin’ drum kit! We attempted to salvage what was left of the show by making a circle pit, but everyone just looked at us as if we where Rosie O’Donnell at a fucking Bulimia camp! WTF!

If any of you Wellington Hardcore/Metal core enthusiasts out there are reading, lets do something about this! Don’t go to shows to just listen! That’s what CD’s are for!

P.S. Antagonist where so effing good in the weekend!

Campbell-Live

Superior Emails

Dear Oh-my-fucking-God-I’m-being-topical-lient,

I was going to let this one go but was reminded about it again in the Dom this morning so let me be blunt: Fuck off Worker’s Party. If you’re not a current elected member of the VUWSA executive just fuck right off. This is a student association not some Parliament-substitute for you to claim. This “fuck off” is especially directed at you Joel Cosgrove. Fuck knows why the Worker’s Party hasn’t thrown out your arse; you’ve been such a good ambassador for it. Is acting like a complete twat, stealing students’ money and not doing the job you’re paid to do all acceptable to the Worker’s Party? Sure the kind of crap you pull may get attention but in the same way that a Chimpanzee gets attention when he starts flinging poo around his cage and masturbating furiously in front of small schoolchildren. Everyone’s sick of you, just go away.

No idea why you want to be a part of that clusterfuck of a party Jasmine.

Regards,

Superior Mind

P.S: Anyone else think the Chinese are two years too early? It’s clearly the year of the Pig with all this swine-related news all over the place.

P.P.S: Congratulations to all those who graduated last week.

Weirdnisityness

I am formulating this letter in my head going home on the bus while quietly objectifying the hot girl in the seat opposite mine. (I’m all for this feminist thing btw)

This is directed to an odd fellow who makes coffee in the basement. You know who you are. I saw you. I was at first sceptical about this one making something that I am to drink, but nevertheless I ordered myself a flat white. I’m really not a huge fan of their coffee blend, but this man made me the holy grail of coffees. I lied, I REALLY HATE their blend. With a passion. This man had turned shit into gold. He was Jesus, and I was drinking his blood. (They actually look quite alike.)

Anyway, I thought I’d get another ‘for the road’, and I asked to have it exactly the same as the last. When I tasted it I immediately came to the conclusion that something had gone seriously wrong it its creation. WHAT IN GODS NAME DID YOU DO TO IT??!?! Is this what someone meant about the ‘taste of the recession’?? Are you under budgetary constraint? Swapping a few coffee beans for roaches? I really don’t know what happened, but it will take me all the power of my heart to forgive you.

Jesus? Satan.

Hating Bruno and all his friends,
RammsteiniumIsAnElement

P.S. Jasmine – I saw the way you were looking at me, you minx! (again, I’m all for the feminist thing)

The Sonny side of life

Dear Salient,

A year ago, my group of friends and I suffered a terrible loss when a friend of ours and Victoria University student, Shane, committed suicide after a long and terrible fight with depression. We had been students at Vic together; it’s where the majority of us had met and become friends. The university was an important place in all our minds but most especially because Shane fought so hard to get to uni and to stay there. Learning was a huge goal for him, despite all the other crap he had to deal with.

It was just recently the one year anniversary and a tree planting was decided upon as a memorial for him. I had to get in contact with the Arch Diocese and with Victoria University to see if it would be ok for us to plant a tree in the Mount Street Cemetery.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Sonny Thomas for all of his help and understanding during this difficult time. I know that the bureaucrats behind the scenes at the University don’t often get a lot of credit for the work they do but in this case, a very emotional and difficult thing to deal with, Sonny was understanding and gentle and made all the information he could available to us.

Thank you for making a terribly difficult thing that much easier and helping us to say goodbye to our friend.

Tamsyn Clemerson

Last letter

Dear Salient.

I want to vent my disgust at reading in today’s Dominion Post (22 May, 2009) that the University has decided to ban Joel Cosgrove from Campus for three weeks. I would think that the University would be better served to let Joel sit his exams, this way he is able to finally finish his three year degree (fifth year, isn’t it?) and can leave Victoria University. In doing this, he would be less of a burden on the University and all its hard working, shaving staff and students.

Thank you
Disgruntled Student

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Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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Editor's Pick

In Which a Boy Leaves

: - SPONSORED - I’ve always been a fairly lucky kid. I essentially lucked out at birth, being born white, male, heterosexual, to a well off family. My life was never going to be particularly hard. And so my tale begins, with another stroke of sheer luck. After my girlfriend sugge