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May 11, 2009 | by  | in Music |
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What’s in the Sandwich

Hip-hop and rap acts in Wellington are, unfortunately, few and far between. Actually, fuck that. Good rap groups full stop are about as hard to find in NZ as a positive review of Little Pictures. Thus, given the nature of this week’s music section, the task has fallen to yours truly to write up on Wellington’s rap groups. Of which there are, in current operation and regular performance, two—Tommy Ill & Buck Beauchamp, and The Crackhouse 5 (By all means, other Wellington rappers, if you feel shunned by your omission in this piece, angrily comment with your myspace address to your hearts content). And fortunately for you, Salient readers of 2K9, the two rap artists collaborate regularly for your viewing pleasure.

Equal parts “tragically superfluous”, “a circle jerk”, and “ethnic joke rap”, Crackhouse 5 are the force behind the most recent residency at Mighty Mighty. Taking the Lynchian stage by storm every second Wednesday, Crackhouse 5 lay down hilarious in-jokes, not-so-hilarious toilet jokes and all things over-the-top in between. Initially hailing from the mean streets of Mt Victoria but now situated in various sects of outer Wellington, their shtick is denim-clad Beastie Boys emulation. Sampling acts from their Jewish whiteboy heroes to local tropicalia fiends and friends The Ruby Suns (with whom they play in Auckland at the end of this month), their brand of rap is at once entertaining and self-deprecating. After emerging from the ashes of the second (of three) Holiday With Friends’ ‘Last Show Ever’ late last year, they have since gained a cult following via their blog,, coupled with extensive proliferation throughout the NZ media. A week after their inception they joined fellow artists Bang Bang Eche to perform live on the Good Morning show. Following on from this bodacious seduction of the nations eyes and ears, they set about recording their debut EP, Wack The Crack. Released to blog comments ranging from “A modern day Soggy Bottom Boys” to “This shit is awesome!!!” to “Well that was shit”, it was the beginning of a whirlwind ride that has seen them ad-lib jokes into their lyrics with bands such as The Sneaks, Tommy Ill (long-time collaborator and sugar daddy to CH5), and Thought Creature.

Extensive advertising (it has even been claimed that their rapping prowess is second only to their self-marketing skills, to phrase it nicely) led to the start of Crack Wednesday, a collaboration between Crackhouse 5, Tommy Ill & Buck Beauchamp, and various bands who join them on a romp through Wednesday nights.

Dealing with the trials and tribulations of cask wine, being inundated with women, and where to find the next party, their brand of rap humour is tragically hilarious, endearingly sleazy and not to be missed—particularly with the added bonus of touring Melbourne DJ Keiran Austin and his mind-fucking bangers. Love it or hate it (there’s plenty in both camps), chances are it’ll be the best free night you can have at Mighty Mighty. If you’re lucky, you might make a sexy friend too.

Crack Wednesdays:
The Crackhouse 5 and Tommy Ill &
Buck Beauchamp @ Mighty Mighty

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Comments (7)

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  1. Anonymous says:

    By what do you mean the “Lynchian stage”? David Lynch?

  2. I thought this was actually going to be about sandwiches, which I am a big fan of. Gutted.

  3. James Beavis says:

    Yeah, David Lynch. RED DRAPES.
    Next Salient is entirely sandwich themed so no worries there either

  4. Antonie says:

    The next time I hear/read a reference to David Lynch I am going to kill him.

  5. Anonymous says:

    And what is hiding behind those red drapes? Fucken Cuba Kebab

  6. Kelvin says:

    less comments about lynch please.

    thx in advance

  7. Anon says:

    Is there chicken in the sandwich? Or beef?
    I’d prefer chicken, but that’s just me.

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