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June 2, 2009 | by  | in Film |
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Lesbian Vampire Killers

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Lesbian Vampire Killers wasn’t awful. In fact, I was almost pleasantly surprised. My knowledge of the film beforehand was based only on the information given by the title. I thus knew a) that it would be about one of the following: lesbian vampires that kill, lesbians that kill vampires or people who kill lesbian vampires and b) that there would be tits and violence a-plenty. I was proven correct on both counts.

The film was a horror comedy about two friends, one of whom (Mathew Horne) has just been dumped by his girlfriend and the other who is overweight and unemployed (James Cordon) they take it upon themselves to battle the undead in a very British setting (sound familiar?). While it was clearly begging to be compared to Shaun of the Dead, it was by no means anywhere near the perfection of that film. It was neither as funny nor as scary as Shaun and it was nowhere near as clever. It did, however, manage to get a few giggles out of me which is more than I expected from a film entitled Lesbian Vampire Killers.

Part of the reason I found myself enjoying the movie so much probably had to do with the rock bottom expectations I had going into it and it was by no means a great film. The accents were laughable (the girls who became vampires sounded like they hadn’t made up their mind as to whether they’re doing a Dutch or an Eastern European accent or whether they were just channelling Leo from Blood Diamond), the humour was forgettable and the characters were nothing special (the vampire-hunting vicar could have been a standout character but his only quirky trait was that he occasionally said “fuck”). What we really need is a truly good new film where the vampires are sexual without being neutered (From Dusk Till Dawn remains my favourite vampire film). The sad fact is that the likes of True Blood, Let the Right One In and even Twilight remain miles better than this.

Negatives aside, the film was watchable, fun and ***MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW*** filled with both tits and violence. If you don’t go into it expecting it to be the next Shaun of the Dead or even a Twilight for boys, then you shouldn’t be too disappointed.

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