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July 13, 2009 | by  | in Opinion |
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This week’s wine has the dubious honour of being the first wine to drive me to illness (though the Clockwork Orange-inspired cups of milk, brandy and butterscotch mixed together I drank alongside the wine probably didn’t help). Of course, that’s not necessarily a slight on the wine—if I was drinking it so much, it must be doing something right—right?

Well, not so much.

The Lindemans 2006 ‘Cawarra’ Cabernet Shiraz ‘peaked’ last year, according to the winemaker himself, Paul ‘I Make Cheap Shit’ Milton. If that’s really the case, then what I drank that fateful, vomit-riddled Saturday was well past its sell-by date—or, at least, I hope it was. For Paul ‘Flavour is Overrated’ Milton’s sake.

The problem is that there’s nothing particularly noticeable or distinguished about it. I’m hesitant to say it has no taste, but the taste it does have is weak and underwhelming and slightly bland. It’s the alcoholic equivalent of asking your parents for clothes for Christmas and getting socks—it’s what you asked for, but you kind of expected better. This Cabernet Shiraz is Christmas socks. It’s inoffensive and it’s practical (though not for wearing on your feet in this case, more for getting fairly wasted). But let’s face it, it’s not a badass fedora or a sports jacket.

The odd thing about this wine is that because of this, it’s fairly easy to finish. A distinct lack of the “red berry aromas”, “notes of blood plum, blackcurrant and sweet cherry”, “soft spiced oak” and “natural acidity” noted by Paul ‘I Lie On My Website’ Milton on the Lindemans website means that there’s no immediate gag reaction to it and there’s no bitter, unpleasant aftertaste. Thus, it’s fairly easy to get drunk on it, and if that’s your purpose (which it shouldn’t be, because you’re responsible young adults yadayadayada where’d I put my slippers and bifocals), you could do worse.

However, this Cabernet Shiraz is so lacking in everything a wine should be that I can’t be passionate about it one way or the other, and that’s not a good thing. The Lindemans 2006 ‘Cawarra’ Cabernet Shiraz is like one of those white butterflies—it’s a butterfly, and butterflies are nice, but it’s not a monarch, and you want to see a monarch if you see a butterfly.


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