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August 17, 2009 | by  | in News |
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Long live the Panda

It’s not O’Kane, ok?

Sean Connors is rumoured to be gunning for another shot at VUWSA President this year.

The failed 2008/09 candidate was at a party last weekend when he was overheard boasting about his political aspirations by a Salient reporter.

“Thisssh time next year, eyesh gonna be shitting… eyesh mean I’ll be in a lumbar poshitshun somewhere,” he drunkenly slurred to a crowd of first years as he collapsed into a pile of empty Bushman’s Draft quart bottles.

Connors—who includes President Obama, Hitler and Martha Stewart as political role models—was reticent about his boastfulness at the kegger when Salient caught up with him.

“By run for president I mean… Aw fuck it. The cat’s out of the bag now. Long live Conners!” he said, and continued chanting.

This follows startling news that longtime VUWSA member and campus personality Nick O’Kane may not be running for President.

O’Kane said “I have no intention of running at this stage,” despite reports from prominent VUWSA exec members who said he had approached them and declared his interest in becoming Jasmine Freemantle.

Freemantle, when asked if she would be running against the potential candidates, stressed the need for experience on the executive, especially in the position of President.

Connors said that he would be happy to arrange some kind of power sharing arrangement with either O’Kane or Freemantle.

“Let’s face it. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m lonely. I just need a friend. That’s really why I’m running. Will you be my friend?”

Freemantle seemed hesitant at Connors’ offer of a power-sharing arrangement saying, “I don’t understand that question.”

Nominations for the VUWSA General election open this Monday.

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The editor of this fine rag for 2009.

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