Archive for August, 2009

A look into the stars for the week of 10-16 August 2009

A look into the stars for the week of 10-16 August 2009

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

Horoscope for people who can roll their tongues Saturn is dancing seductively with your love crystals this week. That can only mean one thing, and that’s, well… Oh, God. This is much harder to type than I thought. It’s over. Between you and me. Look. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just that… I… I [...]

Read More

The good old days

The good old days

by / 10/08/09 / [ 6 Comments ]

When I go to the video store to get a $1 weekly special, I first take it to the counter. I put it in my bag, go home with my snacks, and insert it in my laptop. Autoplay kicks in. I skip past the warning—I don’t even need to watch the piracy anymore, even though [...]

Read More

Auckland is burning so Die! Die! Die!

Auckland is burning so Die! Die! Die!

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

New Zealand, much like its obese and sweaty sister nation Australia, is somewhat hard to get to. However, Australia somehow does manage to get much “performative action”. Indeed, bands from all over the globe drop down for a litle frisky fun time with Oz. As while she is a little broad in the beam and [...]

Read More

How broken tv ended my love of jesus christ, or, don’t forget decorum, don’t forget decorum.

How broken tv ended my love of jesus christ, or, don’t forget decorum, don’t forget decorum.

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

I went down to Eastside last week, and you know what I saw? An empty television sitting in front of a Kurt Cobain poster. It looked strangely familiar, and then I noticed the NYC-style graffiti that was scrawled upon its front, spelling out my name. N.I.C. I had a shrinking feeling down there and realised [...]

Read More

How to read a book

How to read a book

by / 10/08/09 / 1 Comment

I was balancing a vodka, a whiskey, and a wine in one hand, three beers in the other, and had begun pouring some Haagen-bier shots on the dash. This was an annoying way to be driving home, because I needed at least one hand free to make obscene finger gestures and the other to throw [...]

Read More

The Wong view

The Wong view

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

The cat, man’s greatest friend. Not best, like the lowly dog, but great. Consider yourself lucky if you have one of these feline friends, frolicking around your home. As you can see, I love cats. In particular, I love mine. I even wrote a story about them: one detailing their struggle with herpes and the [...]

Read More

A beginner’s guide to budget wine

A beginner’s guide to budget wine

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

The usual writer for this column contracted swine flu and I’m not sure what he contracted it to do but it wasn’t a sub-contract to do this column Type: Sparkling Wine The swine flu thing got me thinking: is wine good for ill health? Common sense tells me that downing a whole cask of County [...]

Read More

Twisted Casks

Twisted Casks

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

Beer has been around for a while. In some form or another, it’s existed for centuries. We can thank the English for what we call ‘beer’ today, but what’s on tap at the local pub is nothing like an English real ale. The term ‘real ale’ has been bastardised by many breweries, with even lagers [...]

Read More

Spicy rouge soup

Spicy rouge soup

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

Here is an easy-to-make soup that is chunky enough to feel filling. It is a little spicy, but I think that is sometimes necessary on cold winter nights. I served it with a roast kumara, feta and rocket salad and some hot toast. I think the terms tomato or vegetable would be misleading to describe [...]

Read More

Top 5

Top 5

by / 10/08/09 / No Comments

Top Five Smells Petrol Pet troll Pineapple Shampoo Napalm in the morning Top Five Reasons You’re Pregnant Condoms are for pussies. You can’t get the ECP in Palmy That special night with Ken Orr Let’s see him leave now Apathy Top Five People Who Displayed Displeasure With Salient Last Week Paul Henry Tasmin Dismantle The [...]

Read More