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September 7, 2009 | by  | in Games |
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Foreign Legion: Buckets of Blood

The game in one word: simplicity. The graphics, concept, and finishing are simple, yet eloquent and satisfying. The best part about this game is that it will probably work on that piece of melted cheese of a laptop you bought at Dick Smiths.

You know, the one that you liked because it was cheap, and the salesperson told you that it would do what you want, and now it runs like an IBM ThinkPad from the 90s. And now you’ve hooked it up to Whoosh because they are “so cheap”, but in reality, you are better off with a typewriter and a fax machine to send emails. Well, usually at this point I’d say, you get what you pay for, but Buckets of Blood has messed that up. I paid US$6 for it, and have played it for over 10 hours in the past week. That’s more time that you probably spend at uni. I can guarantee I had a lot more fun. Seriously, this game is bitchin.

The graphics will be viable for any rig or lappy. Except Macs—I mean you can try—but every gamer would rather you just died. The graphics resemble lego, but with a lot more win. Textures are simple, and character designs equally simple. Part of the beauty of the game is that the focus is not puddles that you can see yourself in, or guns that reflect sunlight, or lil bits of shit floating round the map. The focus is on gameplay.

Even the camera view is styled for epicness. It’s 3rd person, but in a rather fixed fashion, which means the camera won’t be all over the show GTA styles. Consequently you get to see your legionnaire running into battle, firing from the hip, turning terrorists into a pink mist.

This game is beautifully simple. Screw the bullshit back story that reads like a tinny Andy McNab novel you find in most games. The objective in this game can be condensed into a sentence. Stop them peeps from blowing up the town hall where the noobs from the lil town are hiding.

The means provided to you for achieving these ends are just as simple. The secondary weapon is a pistol, which is more pointless than those new white lines on the Allenby Steps. But the assault rifle has superb accuracy if you fire it single shot. The minigun is great fun, but not the best way to fill your buckets with blood. Air strikes and rocket launchers are great for getting your combo kills, making sure that your buckets are brimming with the red stuff.

But what makes this ten-minute long game so playable? The leader board. If you are connected to the internets your high score instantly goes on the leader board, and you can see how you compare to other gamers around the world. Trying to break the top 10 on expert is something that will be a pretty healthy challenge.

The score is tabulated by how many buckets of blood you fill. Hitting a terrorist in the chest and detonating his explosive vest gets you more blood than a leg shot, and getting good kill combos will multiply your bucket-filling potential. A hint would be to keep a real close eye on your HUD. The radar is your friend.

All things said and done, this game has room for expansion. More levels would be cool, finding new ways to take noobs to school on different levels is always the tops, but right now it rocks the potty with just one. Some multiplayer never goes amiss, this is the type of game where you could have a lot of fun with your mates online, or LANing it up, if u got liek real friends in R.L., which you don’t cos you suck at all games—including R.L.

I repeat though, room for expansion, they are by no means short comings. Simply because this game doesn’t try to be anything it’s not. If you like it, it won’t be because you like FPS, or because you thought it’d be like another game you fancy, but because you want a bit of fun, and don’t care how. Seriously, if x= win. Then f(x)= buckets of blood.

P.S. Shinigami, game on. To those who are interested in the result, next week’s review is going to be a collaboration on teh epicness of 1v1. May teh 7331351 pro win! Either way, blood for the blood gods.

Foreign Legion: Buckets of Blood
Developer: Sakari Indie
Platform: PC

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