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September 7, 2009 | by  | in News |
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Mathematicians calculate humanity’s odds against the zombie hordes

“Hit ‘em hard and hit ‘em often” says oddly named professor

A team of mathematicians at the University of Ottawa has modelled the outbreak of a zombie infection and calculated humanity’s best strategy for survival in the event of an outbreak.

The team, lead by Professor Robert Smith? (not The Cure front-man Robert Smith, who doesn’t have a question mark in his name) published their findings in the journal Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress.

In most models constructed by the researchers, they report that humans are “quickly eradicated and zombies take over, infecting everyone”.

Humanity would fare slightly better if a treatment for zombification was developed, with a small human population surviving among a much larger zombie population.

The mathematicians report that humanity’s best chance for survival is to engage in active and aggressive “zombie eradication”, with increasing frequency and severity.

Disappointingly, Smith? and his team restrict the definition of zombies to consider only shuffling, Romero-esque “reanimated human corpse[s] that [feed] on living human flesh”, leaving the non-undead vulnerable to attack from smart and fast zombies like those seen in movies like 28 Days Later.

Salient remains vigilant for similar research into how we might best defeat vampires and other undead enemies of humanity, but is unaware of any work to date.

You can read the report here.

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:   I wanted to write this piece, in order to connect to all tauira within the University, with the hope that we can all remind ourselves that we are a part of an environment which is valuable, no matter our culture, our beliefs or our skin colour. The ultimate purpose of this