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October 12, 2009 | by  | in Music |
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20 Best Music Comments

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Though most people read Salient because they’re bored during their LAWS 121 lecture (Kate failed), particularly irate/joyous review readers take out their fury/delight online and let us know they really think. Following are the 20 best comments of the year:

1. Nigel Braddock [in reference to the week Kim reviewed a series of albums based solely on their covers]: “Remind me next time I send CDs through to Salient for review (if there is a next time) that I ask they go to someone who can actually be bothered listening to them. —Nigel from Monkey Records”

2. Samuel Jackenbery: “oh wait no some dude’s review in SALIENT needs to be addressed quick shit where’s that keyboard and mouse at”

3. A very special boy: “I got to every gig to touch girl”

4. Mike the Courier: [in reference to an internet commenter complaining about Elle’s syntax] “Fuckin’ oath, Acclaimed Commentator. When I’m pilin’ on a huge stacka fuckin’ akka dakka, I don’t want some POOFTER CUNT sailing on the fuckin’ HMS Thesauraus and giving me what for. I’ll tell yah how good the fuckin’ new akka dakka album is: it’s fuckin’ cream thighs, sheeli. get that down ya.”

5. Hank Scorpio: “how dare someone lob insults at my mildly successful up and coming underground camp a low hum band”

6. Reptilian: “please never review anything I or my compatriots create.”

7. Matthew: “i never really got into the beatles eh. some of their songs are good, but as a whole, i’d probably rather listen to the back catalogue of husker du or something.”

8. Al Gangbang: “Maybe from now on you can submit fingerpaintings to achieve a new level of sophistication.”

9. Cameron H: “Yeah, Morrissey should have totally put some beats on their album, then it would have been great.”

10. Amy: “Wankiest, most self congratulatory review I’ve read in quite a while.”

11. Little John [in choosing between which of Elle and Maggie’s Lil Pics reviews was better]: “Unsure; they both made me want to stab myself.”

12. Anonymous: “And what is hiding behind those red drapes? Fucken Cuba Kebab.”

13. Kelvin: “Have you heard of a man named Flavor Flav??? … your real racist and the only music you listen to is Beastie Boys”

14. MC Chris: “yo my name is mc chris and yo i can’t get laid”

15. Cam: “fkn hell whts up wth all ths cuntnshit? Kim is a fkn wmns name. Fksake. Get it rght slnt.”

16. MBS: “The Clean were cunts as well.”

17. Dobro Joe: “The ‘Electronic Twang’ You refer to is a slide guitar, played by one of NZs most talented performers.”

18. Butthead: “Shut up Beavis! Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.”

19. Mikey [in reference to Kim’s shiny shoes]: “I would rate the shoes here too but to be honest I didn’t have my welding mask on and therefore couldn’t see them.”

20. Little John: “This is the most incestuous crap I’ve ever read… all of it. Shame on you.”

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Comments (14)

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  1. Elle Hunt says:

    Excellent picks Maggie!

  2. Hank Scorpio says:

    that’s a fib i never said that what a fib

  3. James Beavis says:

    yeah you did lolz

  4. Hank Scorpio says:

    i was being sarcastic but hey cool comment real food for thought

  5. Hank Scorpio says:

    a james beavis music review get your shovels ready it’s gonna get deep

  6. James Beavis says:

    oh woah more scathing witticisms from hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio, cool

  7. matthew says:

    YOU A H8R

  8. smackdown says:

    hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio
    hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio
    hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio
    hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio
    hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio

  9. smackdown says:

    psst james beavis got a secret for u

    psst… over here

    … follow me..

    …. c’mon, james, this way

    …. there it is…

    ….

    hank ‘i read vice for the social commentary’ scorpio

  10. Al Gangbang says:

    I really hope I said that on a Beavis review.

  11. smackdown says:

    james beavis bodily harm cos readnig his reviews makes you wanna hurt yourself

  12. Al Gangbang says:

    Haters gonna hate, and some reviewers don’t know when to find a day job.

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