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October 5, 2009 | by  | in News |
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LOL news

Holy shit, Hugh Jackman wants you to turn your phone off!

Hollywood actor Hugh Jackman, star of Wolverine and that other movie involving mutant superheroes (Australia) stopped a performance of a Broadway play to ask an audience member to turn his phone off.

“You want to get that?” Jackman said in character, after the ringing interrupted a tense moment in a preview performance of “A Steady Rain” last week.

“Grab your phone, it doesn’t matter,” said Jackman as the ringing continued.

“Come on, just turn it off … we can wait. Just get the phone. Don’t be embarrassed. Just grab it,” he added.

Jackman, being the showman he clearly is, performed a triple-decker summersault before singing both the tenor and soprano parts of Turandot.

Critics accused him of phoning the performance in…heh…heh…sigh.

Holy shit, Michelle Obama’s gonna be on Sesame Street!

To celebrate 40 years of teaching children how to count and appreciate the importance of not eating cookies in bed, Sesame Street welcomed United States First Lady Michelle Obama.

Producers said on Tuesday that Obama will teach the fuzzy folk down on Sesame Street about the pros of growing a veggie garden and healthy living, and will show children how to plant tomato, cucumber and lettuce seeds.

“All these seeds need to grow are sun, soil and water. If you eat these healthy foods, you’re going to grow up to be big and strong, like me,” Obama says.

“I know you’re going to like these vegetables, because in addition to being healthy, they really taste great!”

Republicans hilariously quipped the only vegetable an Obama knew anything about was the President’s healthcare plan.

Democrats returned fire saying prior to the Obama’s arrival, the only vegetables found on White House grounds were in the Oval Office from 2000 to 2008.

Holy shit, drunken Aussie school kids are acting like drunken Aussie school kids!

Australian school leavers are being warned to take care and perhaps act with the decorum of a human being who existed anywhere outside 50,000 BC during this year’s “Schoolies” celebration.

Students on the Gold Coast are being warned they may be banned from high rise balconies after a number of drunken incidents spoilt proceedings last year.

“Schoolies” is a week long celebration of the end of school year indulged in by Year 12 students. It involves drunken ridiculousness masquerading as a coming of age celebration.

Alf from Home & Away hates it, but as he’s the greatest screen character depicted by man, he can get away with it.

Holy shit, Swedish soldiers blow up the wrong house!

A group of elite Swedish soldiers proved why Sweden’s army hasn’t done much of anything since the Vikings rocked on up and took over some thousand years ago by blowing up the wrong house during a routine exercise.

The incident took place during what was supposed to be a routine training operation, for a group of soldiers from Sweden’s Life Regiment Hussars (K3), an elite cavalry division involved in intelligence and paratrooper training.

On its website, the Life Regiment Hussars characterise themselves as “light, highly mobile units with substantial strike power.”

The mission, performed in conjunction with the Swedish home guard (Hemvärnet), called for the soldiers to capture a house.

However, the elite unit somehow managed to hit the wrong target, and instead bombarded a house located about 200 metres from their intended target.

“I think we’ve already cleaned up after ourselves. And we have, of course, contacted the owner. There’s no hard feeling between us,” K3’s public relations officer said.

Kia ora, Swedish competence, kia ora.

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