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October 5, 2009 | by  | in Opinion |
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Present-and-future-torial

editorial

JJW: So you’re Salient editor next year, huh?

SAR: Apparently so. All my dreams came true and next year, I finally get to sit on the OTHER side of the office.

JJW: So what you got planned? ‘09 has been pretty frickin’ legendary. You best keep it up.

SAR: It’s some big shoes to fill, JJW. I’m planning on not playing Raptor Safari, that’s for sure.

JJW: Hey… It wasn’t all Raptor Safari. There was the…

Umm…

Na, you got me.

Look, the kids want to know what you’ve got in store. Spill the beans, fool!

SAR: Actually, I need a computer game. What could you recommend for a girl who can only play car games badly?

JJW: Plants vs. Zombies ftw

SAR: Super. I’ll learn how to play that over summer while I plot and scheme for Salient ’10.

JJW: You still haven’t told me what you’re going to do…

Stop avoiding the question you damn journalist.

SAR: Well, the first thing I’m going to do is CLEAN THE OFFICE.

JJW: Content wise, Sarah.

SAR: Ohh that.

Well. More interviews, more chats with people who pretend to know what they’re talking about.

I will get Tolley. I will get Tolley.

We’re going to be asking the hard questions, and the questions that the mainstream media wouldn’t dare ask,

Here’s an example:

JJW: Ohhhhhh. I <3 examples SAR: Have you ever spewed in your bed?

Classic.

JJW: Not since I was a child…

Ohhhhh…

Right.

Example.

Sheeeeeeeeit.

SAR: For the record, I haven’t spewed in my bed since I was a wee thing

JJW: The Great Tolley Hunt shall continue. My bet is that she’ll, sadly, get first blood. Bitch.

SAR: I’m going to get her.

Mark my words.

JJW: Kia ora Sarah Robson, kia ora.

Hey, hey, hey, hey guess what?

SAR: WHAT?

We won?

JJW: Hells yeah we did. But I reckon that is pretty much an editorial right there. Wasn’t that easy?

SAR: It was pretty painless. Sorry everyone for that being a bit boring.

THERE’S NO DICK JOKE.

JJW: Oh, but what about public transport and Jack Yan. He’s pretty awesome and I’ve never heard him tell a dick joke.

SAR: P.S. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I’ll cut all the dick jokes.

I’ve been hanging out with you boys all year. I use the c word now.

I should wash my mouth out with soap

MJO has entered the conversation

MJO: More like wash your mouth out with Pope, ’cos Salient ’10 is gonna be religious… I mean… uh… fuck this, I quit. The hell with you, the hell with all of you.

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About the Author ()

The editor of this fine rag for 2009.

Comments (2)

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  1. Jack Yan says:

    Oh, you mean I had an opportunity to tell a dick joke?

  2. If you get to be Mayor you can tell as many dick jokes as you want. Kerry’s been doing it for a few years now so no one will notice the difference.

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