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March 8, 2010 | by  | in Opinion |
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How to look decent

Yo mama shoulda told you this

Now kids, we’re all grown up, so let’s do Appearance 101.

 
Make sure your underwear is great every day. Your underwear’s sole purpose is to make you feel fantastic, without adjustment or being seen by passers-by. Ladies, cup size is more than how big your boobs are. It has a lot to do with your shoulders, the shape of your boobs themselves and what you want the bra to do. Also, cups differ from brand to brand in size and shape, so try before you buy each time. Get bras to suit your clothes and for all occasions.
 
You should be able to look in the mirror and pull your shirt/pants/skirt a good many ways without seeing any underwear (or a whole lot more skin than you wanted to show). The moment you walk out that door your outfit will be blown and knocked about, so there’s no point in fooling yourself. It means your underwear is properly fitted, suits whatever you’re wearing, and that you’re not too bad at choosing clothes. Letting any part of your bra see the world does not look good. I don’t care how nice your underwear looks, very few people can pull off an outfit which deliberately shows your underwear, so avoid looking like a tramp. (I said it, a tramp. The only exception to this is the dyke subculture, where flashing a whole lot of bra under a loose singlet is a deliberate look to indicate your sexuality.)
 
Men, please, underwear is not worn to hide the massive gap between your pants and your t-shirt. Buy pants that fit! Loose-fitting pants, sweet, but the way that pants fit should be determined by the cut (style) of the pants you’re wearing, not how you’re wearing them. Try on a good few different sizes of pants to make sure you’ve got the right size, and with underwear hold it up against you. The seams on both sides should stretch a little to reach the seams of whatever you’re wearing. Also, if it has large holes, the elastic is coming off, or you can see through them when held up to the light, THROW IT OUT ALREADY!
 
This is very much from the files of “things your mother told you but you were too self-absorbed to listen.” It’s not about being a prude or old-fashioned—its about avoiding the phrase “you can take **** out of the Hutt, but you can’t take the Hutt out off ****.”

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