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March 1, 2010 | by  | in News |
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Twilight fan decries the history of film as a “cheap Twilight ripoff”

The Week That Wasn't

Woody Allen to shvitz

Peak Twilight stupidity has been reached, thanks to some tween from middle America. Upon reading of fellow fangirl Kayla Patterson’s formal complaint to Universal Studios over the ‘similarities’ between the studio’s film The Wolfman and Stephenie Meyer’s ‘classic’ series, Ruthie Ginsberg (14, Virgo, ‘It’s complicated’) took Twilight obsession to its natural conclusion.

“My Mom’s always talking bout this Johnnie Depp guy, and I’m like ‘lolstacy, he’s the fugly Robert Pattinson’.”

Ruthie—who’s considering a name change to Bella Ginsberg, much to the chagrin of her family, friends, and passers-by—has written a virulent diatribe against the “Twi-haters” in charge of the Hollywood studio system.

Included on her “shit-list” were the actor Bella Lugosi—“Bella’s a girl’s name and he’s totes gross, like my grandpa when he drinks brandy and starts calling me ‘gal’”, the 1922 F.W. Murnau film Nosferatu—“Vampires are meant to be cute like Robert Pattinson, not eww like my drunk grandpa”— and the singer Lady Gaga—“she thinks she’s soo cool for ripping off Edward Cullen’s sparkles but not even… go away grandpa”.

She delivered her diatribe via Twitter and on her Video Blog SexyJBlack69.co.nz. The video also included an unsanctioned version of Mylie Cyrus’ cover of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ (John Lennon was unavailable to comment at the time of print).

While no studio heads have responded to Ginsberg’s statements, it has caused an uproar on website IMDB, with 17-year-old Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith fans labeling her a “tool” and a “stupid face”.

None of this adverse attention has dissuaded her from speaking out against what she perceives as hundreds of years of “twi-hating”.

Salient wishes her luck.

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