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April 19, 2010 | by  | in Arts |
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Armageddon

Ar-ma geddon ready for Armageddon. Oh my days. My wildest dreams have come true. Kindred spirits from across the islands come together to revel in their nerdiness. At last, I can share my love of Final Fantasy and Ergo Proxy with the world, rather than holing up in the dark of my room to indulge in these guilty pleasures. Cosplay! Comics! Twilight merchandise! Ah! My Goddess!

I went through a range of emotions during my time in the TSB Arena. At first I was overwhelmed. The entranceway was crammed full of pikachus and gothic lolitas. After cooing over these adorable outfits I was able to make my way to the comic stands, where I met a couple of independent graphic novelists who work in Wellington. My favourite was Drake, to whom I confessed my feelings of alienation. I was completely won over by his Ninjet series, which features a cat who is implausibly talented at martial arts, clad in a black ninja suit. Other stalls showcased manga, figurines and a $275 buster sword. I had a conversation about kiwis with Robert Rankin. I cringed as one of the hot Native American werewolves from Twilight, Chaske Spencer, answered question after question about Taylor and R-Patz. I waited impatiently in the queue to procure signatures from various anime actors, surrounded by overly confident geeky teenagers attired in Naruto garb. The conversations I was exposed to during this time were inane beyond belief. Get back to the bottom of the social ladder, you.

After an hour I was finally standing in front of the love of my life. Steve Blum, the voice actor behind anti-hero Spike from Cowboy Bebop, along with many other notable anime characters (Geomon comes to mind). I blushed as he mispronounced my name, simpered as he signed ‘I love a woman who can kick my ass’. Oh, that voice. Never mind that he was an aging, slightly overweight silver fox. I made fuck-me eyes at him until I was inevitably told to move on, dazed and confused. Oh, Steve. I adore how you valiantly stormed out of a hentai recording where you had to play a tentacled monster raping a six-year-old girl. My hero.

I watched ridiculously choreographed wrestling, over the top kamehamehas and uncoordinated zorbing. I heard Paul McGunn describe himself as the “pioneer of Doctor Who snogging”. I was surrounded by Tifas, pokemon and ghostbusters. I had chips with carny sauce. Eight-year-old Anakins lovingly held hands with Storm Troopers. Am I going back next year? Fuck yes.

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