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May 24, 2010 | by  | in News |
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Study Confirms Vic Quad “A bit Shit”

Victoria University’s Kelburn Campus quad has been described as “a bit shit” in an official report released last week.


The report, released by the national Cool Campus Review Board (NZCCRB), followed a 12-month study into the quality of university campuses around New Zealand. 


The NZCCRB listed Victoria University as having New Zealand’s least “Cool Campus”.


“There was just no spirit, no vibe and certainly no funk… We’d almost go as far as labelling it Un-Cool.”


The study uses an official rating guide in order to produce its annual report, which includes the presence of hacky-sack circles and foolish pranks as indicators of a Cool Campus.


Students with dreadlocks and sing-along circles were also recognised as factors that could contribute to the funk and cool levels of a campus. 


The NZCCRB pointed to the Kelburn quad as particularly indicative of Victoria’s failings as a Cool Campus.


“We expected the quad to be alive with culture and humming with conversation—a veritable hive of activity, but we couldn’t actually find any students to interview.


“A tumbleweed of hair, cigarette butts and used plasters bouncing past was the most activity we encountered during our two weeks at the Wellington campus… It was just all a bit shit.”


Students spoken to by Salient generally agreed with the findings of the report.


“I came to uni and thought it’d be all rad and I’d just chillax with the boys. But there’s nowhere to chillax. Not cool eh, just not cool.”


The NZCCRB provided the university with a list of suggestions on how to improve Victoria’s cool factor, including playing “cool beats” and commissioning some “funky graffiti art”. 


The university was unavailable for comment.

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