Viewport width =
May 3, 2010 | by  | in News |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Teen Claims Immaculate Conception by Justin Bieber

She’s having his “baby, baby, baby ooh”

Upper Hutt teen Katie Smythe shocked friends and family late last week when she announced she was pregnant with pop sensation Justin Bieber’s baby.

Smythe made the announcement during her health class at school, while the class was discussing contraception.

Friends thought Smythe was joking at first, but took their friend more seriously when she clutched at her stomach and burst into tears.

“Katie’s like all omg Bieber loves me, so we were just like omg Katie just like totally shut up already! But then she was like totally sad as!”

Her parents were called into school for a meeting with the principal and the school counsellor later that day.

The 14-year-old student has since been examined by her family doctor, who said that it was too early to determine whether or not there was any truth in Smythe’s claim.

“Only time will tell if young Katie’s been pulling the wool over all of our eyes.”

But despite the alleged pregnancy only being in its very early stages, Smythe reports having already suffered a number of symptoms.

“OMG the other day I was like sooo sick, I thought I was going to like vomit all over my new Dolly magazine! And I’m totally getting all fat and stuff, my Bieber tee looks all ugly as now.”

Smythe believes the conception happened earlier this month when she accidentally exposed herself to her Justin Beiber poster.

“I like went to kiss him good morning and stuff, and my towel fell off while I was touching him, like totes embarrassing!

“Like duh, I know posters can’t make babies! But this is the one from Girlfriend mag in January where his eyes are all like totally magic. You know?”

Smythe hopes that her pregnancy will bring her closer to the star, and has already compiled a list of possible baby names to give to him.

Katin and Justie are current favourites.

Bieber is understood to be as of yet unaware of the situation.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Cuttin’ it with with Miss June
  2. SWAT
  3. Ravished by the Living Embodiment of All Our University Woes
  4. New Zealand’s First Rainbow Crossing is Here (and Queer)
  5. Chloe Has a Yarn About Mental Health
  6. “Stick with Vic” Makes “Insulting” and “Upsetting” Comments
  7. Presidential Address
  8. Final Review
  9. Tears Fall, and Sea Levels Rise
  10. It’s Fall in my Heart

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided