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July 12, 2010 | by  | in Opinion |
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Ask Candy Badger

Ask Candy Badger

Candy Badger is Salient’s resident advice guru. If you need any help with relationships, flatting, university or anything else, drop her a line at candy.b.badger@gmail.com.

Here is some hollandaise.

Here is a picture of me.

Now imagine me swimming in the hollandaise.

Hawt.

Candy I need your help.

My Dad is liek totes over protective. My squeeze has been staying with me in my flat for liek 3 weeks or something and my dad is all liek “He’s just no good. He’s a no hoper.”

I totes need some help on this one. My squeeze has his own place but I totes liek having him around. I don’t think he has many friends becoz he liek never introduced me to any. We’ve been going out for liek a month and a half. I really totes liek him. Why wont my stoopid dad shut up?

I Need A Hero

Dear you,
Your dad is a dick! You should egg his house! He’ll never suspect it was you. Your bf sounds like a total babe also. You guys should get married, and invite me instead of your dad. And then when he’s old you should put him in a really shitty resthome. Also, you should definitely have heaps of babies. You two sound like exactly the sort of people who should reproduce.

XOXO
Candy

Hi Candy
 
You recently took part in our Work-life Balance survey and I am delighted to tell you that you have won a 6 month magazine subscription.
 
To collect your prize, please email me your full name, postal address and choice of the below subscription.
 
Cuisine
NZ Fishing
NZ Gardener
NZ House and Garden
Congratulations and we look forward to your participation in our up and coming reader panel activities!

Warm regards,
Helen
mysundayview team

Dear Sunday Star Times,
Shame, you gave a magazine subscription to a Salient columnist with a fake name.
Lolz.
My mum’s really enjoying House and Garden though.
Thanks,
Candy

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