Viewport width =
July 12, 2010 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Ask Candy Badger

Ask Candy Badger

Candy Badger is Salient’s resident advice guru. If you need any help with relationships, flatting, university or anything else, drop her a line at

Here is some hollandaise.

Here is a picture of me.

Now imagine me swimming in the hollandaise.


Candy I need your help.

My Dad is liek totes over protective. My squeeze has been staying with me in my flat for liek 3 weeks or something and my dad is all liek “He’s just no good. He’s a no hoper.”

I totes need some help on this one. My squeeze has his own place but I totes liek having him around. I don’t think he has many friends becoz he liek never introduced me to any. We’ve been going out for liek a month and a half. I really totes liek him. Why wont my stoopid dad shut up?

I Need A Hero

Dear you,
Your dad is a dick! You should egg his house! He’ll never suspect it was you. Your bf sounds like a total babe also. You guys should get married, and invite me instead of your dad. And then when he’s old you should put him in a really shitty resthome. Also, you should definitely have heaps of babies. You two sound like exactly the sort of people who should reproduce.


Hi Candy
You recently took part in our Work-life Balance survey and I am delighted to tell you that you have won a 6 month magazine subscription.
To collect your prize, please email me your full name, postal address and choice of the below subscription.
NZ Fishing
NZ Gardener
NZ House and Garden
Congratulations and we look forward to your participation in our up and coming reader panel activities!

Warm regards,
mysundayview team

Dear Sunday Star Times,
Shame, you gave a magazine subscription to a Salient columnist with a fake name.
My mum’s really enjoying House and Garden though.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Laneway: Luck of the Draw
  2. Cuttin’ it with with Miss June
  3. SWAT
  4. Ravished by the Living Embodiment of All Our University Woes
  5. New Zealand’s First Rainbow Crossing is Here (and Queer)
  6. Chloe Has a Yarn About Mental Health
  7. “Stick with Vic” Makes “Insulting” and “Upsetting” Comments
  8. Presidential Address
  9. Final Review
  10. Tears Fall, and Sea Levels Rise

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided