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July 12, 2010 | by  | in News |
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LOL NEWS WITH MOLLY McCARTHY

LOL news

MAGGOTS ON A PLANE!

US Airways have had it with these motherfuckin’ maggots on their motherfuckin’ plane!

A US Airways plane was forced to return to the gate in Atlanta recently when maggots fell from an overhead bin.

The source was a container of rotten meat that had been brought on board by a passenger.

The plane was evacuated and cleaned after passengers noticed that maggots, rather than breathing masks, were dropping from the ceiling.

WORLD CUP FEVER CREATES RUSSIAN HALLUCINATIONS

According to an independent poll carried out late last month, 8 per cent of Russians believe that their team will win the FIFA World Cup, even though the nation never qualified to play in the tournament.

Other Russian favourites include Brazil, eliminated following a loss to the Netherlands, and Turkey, who, like Russia, also never qualified to play in South Africa.

Russia is currently bidding to hold the World Cup in 2018 or 2022; even if they are unsuccessful, polling will probably indicate otherwise.

TEDDY BEARS BARE ALL FOR SEX-ED

Clifford demonstrates the Big Red Doggy Style

A sex-ed class in Iowa faced complaints after the instructor used soft toys to demonstrate sex positions to the 13- and 14-year-old students.

Colleen Dostal, a mother of one of the students, claims that pornographic photographs were also shown.

“I think that’s horribly inappropriate.”

Dostal and other parents took their complaints to both the principal and superintendent of the school.

Planned Parenthood, who ran the class, has defended their decision, representative Jennifer Horner said.

“All information we use is medically accurate and science-based.”

MICK JAGGER BAD LUCK FOR FIFA TEAMS

Mick sees a world cup team and wants to paint them black

Fans following the World Cup have accused Rolling Stones’ front man Mick Jagger of cursing the teams that he supports.

Jagger, English-born and with a half-Brazilian son, has seen the demise of the US, England, Brazil and Argentina at matches where he has been supporting the teams.

After Brazil’s loss to the Netherlands thousands of fans, including Brazilian author Paulo Coehlo, accused him of being bad luck on Twitter.

“Remaining teams: forbid his presence in the stadium!”

In other World Cup superstition news, Paul the octopus oracle made his sixth consecutive correct match prediction when he indicated that Spain would beat Germany in the semi finals.

The octopus, housed at a German aquarium, predicts the outcome of Germany’s matches by choosing a mussel from one of two tanks marked with the teams’ flags.

PRINCESS’ HAIR USED TO MAKE JAM

Tea and Scones with Princess Di, anyone?

A jam made with the hair of the late Princess Diana is currently being sold at an art exhibition in London.

The preserve, which was produced with a single strand of the Princess’ hair, is said to taste like condensed milk.

The jam has been selling well at £5 per jar ($NZ11), with 500 sold in the first week.

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