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July 9, 2010 | by  | in Online Only |
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Samuel Bowen Kim editorials

This is officially what we are dealing with:

The Republic of (South) Korea


Susceptible to: occasional typhoons; low-level seismic activity; Socialist invasion; East Asian-styled pop music.

Population: 48,508,972
South Korean language schools are known to offer the best deals to foreign teachers, including prepaid flights, accommodation, low cost of living and relative high pay coupled with low work hours.

Young New Zealand-born male teachers with good degrees who are looking for work will only do as an alternative if Americans, Canadians or any other woman cannot be found. However, at this current time, along with the rest of the world, the Republic of (South) Korea is dealing with the effects of the worldwide economic downturn, and as such work for foreign English teachers is drying up. It is common practice for Korean language schools to request photos of foreign applicants before they are accepted. This, coupled with requirements for a criminal background check, drugs and AIDS test and good academic marks from a recognised university makes the application a long and thorough one.

As of this date (March, 08, 2010), Samuel Bowen Partridge (S.B.P.) has unsuccessfully been looking for suitable work in the Republic of (South) Korea for four months. Unsure as he is, he has three offers to go to work immediately at language schools in rural and industrial centres and is considering giving up his dreams of the ‘Bohemia’ that was to be his Seoul experience.
Wondering if his failures are because his photos are not homely enough (patriarchal South Koreans are known to be susceptible to ‘xenophobic angst’ at the idea of Western men getting K-babes), he is now very much in despair. The idea of living in a country town, or a coal pit populated by dirty (mud or soot-covered) plebs and few other Westerners is, at this moment, an unappealing one. Samuel has been reading Green Hills of Africa and the unease and frustration that Hemingway feels surrounded by African tribesmen informs his own anxieties.

On the ground the situation remains tense, but the impasse cannot continue indefinitely, in fact many experts believe that a break in the deadlock will occur in matter of days as despair begins to settle in—expect Samuel to capitulate soon.

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Comments (8)

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  1. sam says:

    the fuck is this

  2. Umberto Eco says:

    Nice article, very ‘Rogue’ but i’m surprised that the writer passed the “criminal background check, drugs and AIDS tests”.

    I hope to hear more from this “S.B.P” character.

  3. Anne Tolley has been replaced as Minister of Higher Education by Steven Joyce. Many have suspected that this sign that things were a shock, and the national government budget this year were confirmed.

  4. Grant Golob says:

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!

  5. This web site does not display appropriately on my android – you may wanna try and repair that

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  7. Gamer says:

    With every little thing which appears to be developing inside this particular subject matter, your points of view are fairly stimulating. Having said that, I appologize, because I do not subscribe to your whole theory, all be it stimulating none the less. It appears to me that your comments are not totally rationalized and in reality you are yourself not wholly confident of the argument. In any case I did appreciate examining it.

  8. smackdown says:

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