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August 16, 2010 | by  | in News |
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FM BM Nius

Ngā Mahi Hianga a te Tauira – Part One

Hey you! Yes, you, you Pukamata addict. YOU! I seen you up there stealing other people’s boyfriends, rowing your farm and feeding the whanau in that restaurant of yours. Then in the same hour taking your gang to bust out some jewels and travel the globe in search of mischief, clothes, boyfriends or points. Yes. Points. You guys know to what I’m referring to. Even though it’s banned from the upstairs computer room of *you know where* I seen people on those comps doing their ‘assignments’. Ha! So we got interested, and here’s some of the games our people have seen you people play… and here’s what we think. Part One.

Sorority Life

What is Sorority Life? Does it contribute to my university life? Can my achievement on this game be replicated in reality? The most important question I have thought of is why is there no skin tone option for “Māori” complexion when you create your model?

These are all questions that plague me before I go to sleep at night. So I have done extensive research to help me on my path to answering these questions (A.K.A. talked to fellow addicts). So what is Sorority Life? For all you harry hard-out academics out there who don’t add every single ‘new app’ on Facebook, Sorority Life is a world based around you and your desires to climb the social ladder. From the beginning the competition begins when you create your female model who lives on a college campus (no doubt in America), and the overall goal is to do whatever it takes to reign supreme over this world by socialising, networking and even fighting other players. It isn’t all hard work though, there are many games, and I must say there is nothing like buying a new piece of clothing or an accessory, and don’t even get me started on how enjoyable it is to steal someone’s online boyfriend… Scandal!

So for all dedicated procrastinators, Sorority Life provides a lifetime of reasons not to do your assignment that is usually due in an hour. It has also been known to keep people up til early hours in the morning so that they can continue their pursuit for the next level of sorority life greatness.

Can my achievement on this game be replicated in reality? I currently am a multimillionaire, own 150 modes of transportation and my wardrobe is the size of the Island Bay Warehouse, and don’t even get me started on how many boyfriends I have bought. In short, the answer to this question is stop dreaming, mate!

So in conclusion, if you desire the thrill of climbing the imaginary social ladder in cyberspace, then Sorority Life is the game for you. I play this game for the great clothes, but I would like to send out a warning to all people who are easily addicted—stop! Do not search for Sorority Life on Facebook! The consequences could be great.

These are the first signs of an addict: people who buy things for Sorority Life with their own money (brownie points), people who cut all contact with their friends because they stole their sorority
boyfriend, and, last but not least, those who have assignments due but are buying new clothes on Sorority Life.

Who Has The Biggest Brain?

Man who thinks he’s a gorilla “eats, shoots and leaves!”
Facebook application: Who has the biggest brain?
Users = over 1.2 million, 200,000 ‘likes’
Facebook “user-generated” rating = 4/5 stars

Apparently I have a brain the size of a gorilla, e kī e kī! Pokokōhua Facebook! Maka tiko bum!

I spent five years at this Whare wānanga to be told by a fourpart, two-minute quiz that I have the brain of a gorilla—I mean, a brain the “size” of a gorilla’s brain. Welcome all to the hype that is Who Has the Biggest Brain.

Another way to look at this sudden realisation is that I have spent these last five years to find out that I should not have bothered at all, that despite the two degrees that I have ended up with I cannot run from the size of my brain, and therefore hide from my genetically predetermined future… of foraging all day long? To be honest, I am relieved that something can be so blunt/honest and finally make me realise that my destiny is not that of ‘a leader of tomorrow’, or of ‘a mover and shaker’. Instead I should spend my time foraging for leaves and making a nest (usually out of my favourite food). A quick look on Wikipedia (key search ‘Gorilla’ if you were wondering) led to a fascinating discovery, that 98-99% of our DNA is shared with Gorillas. It also states that Gorillas are highly intelligent. Ana tō kai e Facebook! Therefore I am hopeful and encouraged that my gorilla brain will actually do just fine. Kia ora Facebook… Kia ora!

BTW this game is tiko tarau. My rating? 4/5 tikos.

Next installment…Family Feud, Geo Challenge, Mafia Wars, Word Challenge.

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