Viewport width =
August 16, 2010 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Salient Rates: places for free dates

So you’ve got your eye on a babe from class. You’ve just about plucked up the courage to ask them on a date. Then you realise—you’re broke. Nothing. No more money in the bank, kitty or pocket. And no coins under the couch. Do not despair! We here in Wellington are blessed with a whole host of free date options. Like actually, heaps. We have taken it upon ourselves to rate Wellington’s best and worst free date locations, so you’re still guaranteed to get some sweet, sweet action.

Hang out outside a hall of residence until someone lets you in and scab free dinner 0/10
So un-hot. Seriously. Hall food sucks. It also makes you fat. If you’re not a first year, you probably don’t want to be hanging out with first years. Not that there’s anything wrong with first years, but if you’re trying to impress someone, it’s just probably not the best idea. Did I mention hall food sucks?

The Botans 6/10
You can climb trees, have a picnic (use up the leftovers in your fridge—as long as they’re tasty and mould-free), feed ducks, play on the playground, walk up hills and pash in the
bushes. It’s not exactly an original idea, but on a nice day, the Botans are a nice place to go. Fresh air and exercise. Don’t go on a wet and windy day. Nah uh.

A free entry pub quiz 4/10
Maybe only go with this option if you have a vast wealth of general knowledge or an iPhone. Pub quizzes can be tough. If you manage to place, you’ll generally get a bar tab as your prize—so at least you might be able to shout your date a drink. If you fail at placing, don’t expect a second date.

The City Library 2/10
We’re not entirely sure how a date to the City Library would go. You could have sex between the shelves, but you wouldn’t really want to do that on a first date—or would you? You could go and read picture books. Or you could quietly study together. I think the verdict is, unless you’re having sex, it’s probably not going to be a good time. Unless you’re dropping by to pick up a copy of Salient, of course.

Salient Blind Date 10/10
Free food and booze, what more could you want? Not to mention you get to go on a date with a complete stranger. Keen? Email with some info about your ideal date and your cellphone number (so we can contact you if we decide to play cupid with you). First issue back after the break will have all the gory details of last week’s blind date, ooh ah!

Te Papa 7/10
There is so much to keep you amused at Te Papa—for no cost at all! Go and look at the decaying colossal squid, push all the buttons, go in the earthquake house, look at some perplexing artwork. You’ll fill in a day just like that. Horrah! Second date prospects could be high.

Parliament 8/10
Nothing says sexy quite like the halls of power. Tours of parliament are free, and take about an hour. You get to see everything from the base isolators, to the parliamentary library, to the debating chamber. Hawt. Everyone else tends to disagree with such a high rating, but you know, whatever tickles your pickle.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. AUSA President Anand Rama Resigns
  2. My Attention is Broke
  4. Storytime: Angst, Agony, and Adorable Babies in Teen Mom YouTube
  5. VUWSA Responds to Provost’s Mid-Year Assessment Changes
  6. Te Papa’s Squid is Back and Better Than Ever
  7. Draft Sexual Harassment Policy Consultation Seeing Mixed Responses
  8. Vigil Held For Victims of Sri Lankan Easter Sunday Attacks
  9. Whakahokia te reo mai i te mata o te pene, ki te mata o te arero – Te Wharehuia Milroy Dies Aged 81
  10. Eye on the Exec – 20/05

Editor's Pick

Burnt Honey

: First tutorial of the year. When I open the door, I underestimate my strength, thinking it to be all used up in my journey here. It swings open violently and I trip into the room where awkward gazes greet me. Frozen, my legs are lead and I’m stuck on display for too long. My ov