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September 13, 2010 | by  | in News |
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LOL news

Woman Plays Judge on Facebook

Fair trial loses out to status update

A US woman was dropped from a jury and forced to write an essay after she announced her verdict of a case on Facebook.

Hadley Jons was ordered by a judge to write a five-page essay on the right to a fair trial as punishment for publishing her opinion of the outcome before the defence had even started its case.

“gonna be fun to tell the defendant they’re GUILTY”

Jons was removed from the jury the day after the post was discovered by the “GUILTY” party’s lawyers.

50 Cent Marries Himself

Rapper 50 Cent announced to his followers on Twitter that he planned to marry himself at the start of last week.

“Good morning I was so high after the show last night. I got engaged I love me so, sept 6 I’m getting married.”

He then posted a picture of his engagement ring, a large diamond-encrusted gold ring bizarrely worn on his pinky finger, instead of his ring finger.

This romantic endeavour is just one of many of 50 Cent’s updates about his love life. Last week alone, his followers received updates about 17 different women, including two offers of marriage and numerous offers of sexual favours.

On Tuesday 50 Cent seemed a little overwhelmed by it all.

“Damn these girls got my emotions running on twitter. Feel like I did a motherfuckin workout. shit! I gotta take a minute to calm down”

Thief Leaves Nasty Surprise for Victims

An Australian thief who stole mobile phones and then sent pictures of his penis to the victims’ friends has told police he didn’t know what he was doing.

“I’ve been off me head for a while…so…on drugs, so I couldn’t tell you what I’ve done.”

Shayne Anthony Willis took a number of photos of his crotch and sent them to victims’ mobile contacts, including high-school students.

One victim was reported to his head teacher by a female friend who had received the image and assumed it was from the victim. The student, 17, had to explain his way out of the awkward situation in front of his parents, who were called by the school.

Willis avoided arrest in February by leaping from a second-storey window.

Finally arrested in April, Willis’ thefts amount to a total value of approximately $83,000.

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