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September 27, 2010 | by  | in News |
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Lol news

It’s a Dog’s Life for Boomer

An American man recently left a court disappointed because the judge refused to allow him to legally change his name to ‘Boomer the Dog’.

Gary Guy Matthews, 44, petitioned to change his name because of his involvement in the furry community, where individuals write fiction and attend conventions to share their enjoyment of animals with human characteristics and personalities.

Inspired by TV show Here’s Boomer, Matthews enjoys dressing up as a dog and has made a name for himself among other furries.

Judge Ronald W Folino rejected Matthews’ petition because he said the name could cause confusion with emergency services, business and public records.

“Although Petitioner apparently wishes it were otherwise, the simple fact remains that Petitioner is not a dog.”

Mr the Dog will just have to remain Matthews’ unofficial title.

On Yer Bike!

Prisoners pedal to freedom

Two British teenagers escaped their juvenile detention centre on bikes they were given to undertake a cycling test recently.

Connor Dewhurst, 14, and Sam Thomas, 13, were allowed to leave their detention centre to sit a cycling proficiency test that all young Britons must take before they can ride on the road.

Once released the pair sped off on their bikes for eleven kilometres until they reached the nearest major train station.

They have not yet been caught.

What’s in a name?

New Pornographers get banned thanks to x-rated name

US indie band the New Pornographers had a show cancelled recently because the school they were booked to play at deemed their name too rude.

The “distinctly Christian, academically excellent, always reforming” Calvin College in Michigan pulled the show because the name of the band was seen to cause too many problems.

“After weeks of discussion and consideration, the irony of the band’s name was impossible to explain to many.”

The band have since posted a notice on their website explaining how fans can obtain a refund for the cancelled show.

Naan, but not forgotten

Salient’s prized Brad Pitt half-eaten garlic naan is still intact and mould-free, despite being nearly two months old.

Last reported on in Issue 19, the naan is still proudly on display in the office, but has recently changed its location as it was ‘creeping out’ a Salient staffer who had been spending long periods of time staring at it.

Although mould is yet to appear on the naan’s garlicy surface, its grease shadow has spread to full capacity and cracks in the naan have grown wider.

Many visitors to the office have been fascinated with the naan and its incredible inability to cultivate any mould.

Maybe it is warded off by Brad Pitt’s lingering magical DNA. Salient may have to start taking bets on the mould’s ETA.

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