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March 14, 2011 | by  | in Opinion |
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I am Offended Because: Holy Shit I Love Hatshepsut

I thought that maybe, to stop this column becoming a ceaseless barrage of negativity, I should talk sometimes about stuff that doesn’t offend me.

Speaking of negativity (segue alert), I recently realised over a honey cake with my friend Sarah that I don’t read fashion snark website Go Fug Yourself every day any more. This hasn’t been a deliberate I-will-shun-you-for-your-offensive-comments cold turkey, because I still find the writers really funny and I like it when they talk about The Babysitters Club. Or at least, I like it when they talk about The Babysitters Club when I am in a light-hearted mood and their insidious slut-shaming is less likely to get to me. This probably means at about 8.05am, just after I arrive at work but still haven’t actually worked yet.

When I was talking to Sarah about Go Fug Yourself she used the words ‘ceaseless barrage of negativity’. And over that cake I had a hallelujah moment. I realised that this was why their website has listlessly slid down the list of my Most Visited Sites. It’s because I know that when I visit they will say Put Some Pants On blah Boobs Legsly blah Jumpsuits Suck blah Well Played Girl in the Inoffensive Mini Dress and Expensive Shoes with a Hint of Peach Lipstick. Blah. And while the Go Fug Yourself girls live a life that I can only dream about—a life of tapping on their laptops and talking about celebrities and drinking Diet Coke—I don’t want to be that negative. Or at least, I want to try to not be that negative.

So I thought that maybe I could introduce some kind Sweet Bitch of the Month segment, like the Sweet Bitch of the Week I have on my blog. Where I could lazily write up something about someone I really like, and who doesn’t offend me. A time for some unadulterated positivity. And I thought that I would start with my favourite of the Ancient Egyptians, Hatshepsut. And like, I haven’t done classics or anything so most of my knowledge is gleaned from a book I had growing up called Uppity Women of Ancient Times, an enlightened present for a pre-pubescent feminist (if you happen to know any.)

So basically, Hatshepsut was really great. When her husband died she proclaimed herself Pharaoh and denied her nephew his inheritance. Even though other women ruled Ancient Egypt sometimes, she ruled for longer and her rule was more prosperous. She was into doing things like setting up trade routes, building heaps of temples and being peaceful, as far as Pharaohs go. I like that she called herself the Strong Bull and wore traditional male clothing and that she claimed that the Sun God endorsed her rule. When her asshole nephew came to power, he chiselled away her names on the temples and he took credit for her achievements. Symbolic
So even if the Go Fug Yourself girls might deem her sarcophagus too gaudy, or her mummification wrap too tight, you should Wikipedia her, because I think she is inspiring.

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